Bountiful Blessings

Thanks Easter Bunny! Wasn't Expecting It that...

2010-04-13T17:19:00.000-07:00

Had a "great" Easter round our house, but little did I know what Easter would truly bring to me. As my previous post stated, I took part in a ceremony at church, where we were given the opportunity to nail "battles" to the cross. I talked about having left (attempted to leave that is!) my battle with weight on the cross on several occasions in this same type of

ceremony, only to pick it back up.

Well God works in mysterious ways. I prayed really hard that night and days after, that this would be the time I had truly turned it over to God, but have you ever had one of those times where you knew God heard, but you didn't think he was answering? Well, that's called Beth's impatience and God's timing! I was sitting down 2 nights ago and downloaded a "passle" of pictures that I had stock piled on memory cards. THERE IT WAS!! Easter, I really wanted to get pictures of my grandmother that has been having health problems and my Aunt took my camera and snapped some shots of her, which happened to be sitting right next to me! There I sat looking at the picture of my sweet grandmother and there I was next to her, I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW THE PERSON I WAS LOOKING AT! How can a person that feels one way inside look so different on the outside. Well I was appalled to say the least, but didn't know what to do with my emotions. This is when I usually turn to what I've obviously made the love of my life, food!, but instead, of "ALL things! I felt lead to once again investigate WW, but online this time. I should truly own stock in WW after all my failed attempts, but I felt lead, so I joined WW online. Once again, went to bed and prayed. Didn't feel totally convicted "hook, line, and sinker", but I was following what I felt I was supposed to do. Got up Monday, another day, went into my closet and NOTHING fit!! It was as if some cruel "devil" fairy came in overnight and sabotaged me! I put on, slung off into the floor, I put on, slung off into the floor!

God had spoken!!

I was mad, not at life, somebody, the food, and so on, so on.....

I was mad at the addiction and what it was stealing from me!!

I would say to make a long story short, but being that I've "babbled" for so long I think it's too late for that! Lol! I am learning to navigate WW online and actually really like it. I'm going to weigh in on Friday mornings and going to spend alot of time in HIS word for his revelations for me!

I used to blog on another blog just for weight, but the more I thought about it, this addiction is part of me and what better way to deal with it than to have friends praying me through!

Wish me luck, in his strength I can do this! Only in his strength!

The Blood Was Shed for Sins, not Construction Paper

2010-04-01T12:52:00.000-07:00

Well it is that time of the year! Spring has sprung! There is just something about the new beauty that surrounds you this time of the year that gives me a new found optimism that you can conquer the world. We had a "wonderful" service last night at FBC Bude that I have taken part in several times. What's funny, is that though I have participated in it several times it is always a different experience. We had our cross ceremony where we literally wrote our burdens on a construction paper heart and nailed them on the cross that was symbolic of the cross that our Savior died on all those many years ago. I joked with friends that I needed a piece of loose leaf paper to write my burdens down on, but jokingly said that I had to take my burdens to him daily or they would surely be too much to bear alone.

As I sat and prayed last night about what I would write down, I realized that one of my major struggles or burdens that I wanted to write down, I had written down two prior times during this very same ceremony, yet walked away from the cross with the burden in tow. Obviously the only thing I laid at the cross was a piece of red construction paper.

Believers, we either trust him with our burdens, FULLY trust him or we don't. Walking away with this burden that I claimed to lay down on two prior occasions means that obviously I don't think he is a big enough GOD to handle it. That is so far from what I profess to believe, but sometimes you have to stop and think, "Am I living what I say I believe?" Most everyone loves the verse, "I can do all things through Christ that strengthens me", but how many people live with a sense of discord, how many have no self confidence and don't believe they can accomplish their goals no matter how big or small.

Many may think these are random thoughts, well I guess they really are, but that's what blogging is all about, but as you look around and see the beauty that spring brings, as you feel the warmth of the SUN sent straight from the SON, we need to remember that a God that is big enough to literally speak everything into creation, a God that is interested enough in us to divinely make everything from our children to the pesky pollen particles in the air, is a God that is big enough to take our burdens to and leave them.

In our flesh we can't handle it, but never fool ourselves that HE can't or that it's insignificant enough for HIM to want to......

Hmmmm! Thoughts to ponder! Maybe it is HIS timing that we struggle with the most. Maybe we assume the worst because he doesn't answer when WE think HE should.

Going to pray for guidance, strength and surrender, hoping that this time I believe that Jesus died for my sins and not simply construction paper hearts.

Just a Momma Hanging on for Dear Life!!

2009-11-14T19:38:00.000-08:00

As a Momma, you have those times periodically where it becomes all to apparent that your babies are growing up and there is absolutely nothing that you can do about it! Don't get me wrong, it is such a blessing watching them grow, but in the same sense I feel like I am slowly loosing my grasp on them.

Within the last 2 weeks both of my sweet babies have had a birthday! My Baleigh Bug has turned 12 years old and Thomas Patrick turned 10 this past week.

I know, I know, you must be thinking that I need to get a grip and they are "still" little, but oh how it seems like I just brought them home.

Baleigh came home the other day and said that she wanted to be in the Middle School pageant in January. In her words, "I want to wear a poofie dress Momma.", so this morning I went out to Brookhaven to watch AnnaBugs play soccer and then my mom met me at the dress rental shop with Baleigh. I made it there before them and all of a sudden I looked up through those big glass store windows and see this beautiful young lady walking by to come in with a smile across her face that was contagious. She had her cute little jeans on, hair in a top knot, big hoop earrings, trendy sneakers. She was tall, all legs and arms. It was at that point I realized that that big girl belonged to me!! That 5lb bundle of pure "JOY" is now a young lady. Of course, the beautiful dress that she found for the pageant didn't help with this trial I was going through one bit!! Sparkles and "poof', my Tomboy was absolutely beautiful.

Do you ever just get overwhelmed at the "blessings" that you have been given? Well when I look at these two children that God has entrusted me with, I am completely overwhelmed at the blessings Pat and I have been given through them. Just want to savor every minute because I am becoming ever so aware that they will need me less and less. We spend our time raising them to be independent, but I must say it "stings" ever so slightly as they come into their independence. Just thoughts from a Momma....

Good Times, Big Blessings!

2009-09-26T20:24:00.000-07:00

Sometimes you can get soooo caught up in life that you don't even stop to enjoy it! You know, stop and spell the roses kinda thing.
Well this weekend I got to stop and smell the roses and it was such a sweet smell!
Friday me, Jill and Christy took off and went to New Orleans for a night and a day. We left out around 3:30 on Friday. Had a good time just talking and sharing on the way up there. We checked into the Westin right on the river and it was "wonderful"! It was like being in a spa! We then struck out and went to a new Jazz restaurant called Mulates where the atmosphere was "great" and the food was to die for. We then took a taxi into the French Quarter and enjoyed taking in the sights, especially loved looking at all the old buildings and trying to imagine the history of them all. You could just sit and "people watch" forever there. After spending the night we got up this morning and enjoyed breakfast, a carriage ride and then on to some window shopping in the French Market. We headed out around 3:00 or so and ended a short but awesome trip with a stop by Middendorfs. It's good for us women to just "intentionally" stop every once in a while and recharge. Got home and was soooo tired, but headed to my Aunt Linda's camp with alot of family and friends and it was a perfect end to a great day. Enjoyed just hanging out and talking with the family.
Life is busy and it's very easy to get soooo caught up in it that you don't even enjoy it. I so enjoyed this weekend with people I love so much! Good times, big blessings!

Happy Birthday Momma, Aunt Linda and Jill!

A Flea in My Pantyhose!

2009-08-12T18:28:00.000-07:00

Well tonight is Wednesday night. I had missed a couple of the lessons in the last Bible study that I was in and didn't complete it. Do you ever get aggravated, let's be honest, when God's conviction just nags at you like a FLEA IN YOUR PANTYHOSE! Well he doesn't fall down on his job, but oh how I fall short. Well, missing 1/2 of the last Bible study really bothered me and it was nothing more that God convicting me of that! Back in the saddle again tonight though and what a wonderful lesson!

Started taking Beth Moore's "A Beautiful Mind" and the main point I got of tonight was

ARE YOU PROJECTING AN OLD FEAR ON A NEW DAY

Whoa Nelly! She acts like she knows me or something! lol But seriously, what she was talking about is how we get burned one or two times in a situation and then we expect that same result or reaction every time, so we never do get anything different out of life and experiences. How many times do we fail at something or have someone disapprove of something and instead of continuing to try we just tuck tail and run! She talked about FEAR.

1. Fear of the Past, that because of what has happened or hurt us in the past, that we cheat our self out of the future because we won't try again. That we don't give others a chance to change and react to us differently. If we are in God's will, it is our responsibility to continue to try time and time again.

2. Fear of Saying Yes, we are so afraid of not being the "best" at something from the very start, that we won't try something because of our PRIDE and INSECURITIES and not wanting to look bad or foolish or fail in front of someone else.

3. Fear of Saying No, being able to learn the difference in when it's time to say yes and when it's time to say no. We CANNOT do a 1000 things at once to glorify God! Pick and choose.

The last thing that I thought was powerful tonight is that she said that women claim responsibility and investment in WAY more that they are actually responsible and have an investment in. I interpreted that into times that I get all upset and bothered about something that I truly don't "HAVE A DOG IN THAT RACE" with! I think it is a women's nature to take things personal, but many things that I let get me upset doesn't even have a whole lot to do with me. lol :D

I just thought it was an "awesome" night and truly gave me alot to think about in my life! We claim each day as a blessing from God, do we waste it by not stepping out in faith because of what has happened in the past? The enemy, which can come in the form of many things (people, food, situations etc.) tries to get you to quit, by reminding you of your past failures and things that happened before.

What a wonderful message I would have missed tonight, confirmation that God wanted me in fellowship with him tonight! Thank you Lord for pursuing me when many times I seem to be running from you! Hope all have a "blessed" rest of the week and weekend!

Give As Freely As You Have Recieved!

2009-08-10T18:58:00.000-07:00

"Give as freely as you have recieved!" Matthew 10:8

Well, have you ever had one of those moments where you were trying to teach someone else something and the Good Lord decided that the lesson is for you! Woo Wee! Tonight was one of those nights. As Pat and I sat at the bar and was doing a nightly devotional with the kids, it was obvious that the lesson was for me much more than the kids. The devotion tonight basically asked if you felt like some people were ugly to you for no apparent reason, do you feel like you can't do anything right, do you feel like people are just against you at times? In a nutshell, do you carry a chip on your shoulder at times. Oh mercy, I knew I was in for it then. The devotion then went on to read, what have you done for others to expect something good in return? Hmmm! It went on to say that alot of times all we can focus on is how others don't make us happy, make us feel good, or do things that we agree with or benefit from. It basically said that we should try not focusing on these things and simply put, get out there and start doing good things ourselves for no reason and it is His promise that we will in turn receive. I think I've heard this before, I think it means, IT'S NOT ABOUT ME! lol What a good message for the beginning of a new school and church year! I think for me he wants me to react in a positive way, when people expect me to get mad. That he wants me to close my eyes to all the negative things that I tend to focus on with people and situations and notice the positive. And if I'm really honest, I would want people to focus on my positive and not on my srew-ups. (Goodness knows I have plenty! lol) He has opened my eyes tonight to the fact that I shouldn't expect from others anything more than I am willing to give them!! That phrase in itself is sooo powerful! Well, I'm definitely not perfect and by all means a work in progress, but via the Big Man, I am going to try to concentrate alot more on giving and not focusing quite so much on receiving. Gonna try and be a little better Christian, Momma, Wife, Daughter and Friend! Again, hmmmm!

Gotta love trying to teach your children a new lesson! lol, lol, lol, lol :D

The End is Here...

2009-08-02T19:17:00.000-07:00

Well, it is here! It is officially the end of my summer vacation.

It doesn't even seem like summer any more. Well the heat has definitely let us know it is summer, but I have memories of June and July lasting for eternity. I think it is simply a sign of getting older. Those lengthy months have turned into wild and crazy weeks of nonstop doctors checkups and running, running, running! lol :D

I have also spent the summer washing clothes. It is as if it has been one nonstop load that never quite gets done.....

Oh well, once again, just some more of the facts of life.

You see, even on a day that has elements in it you could have lived without such as the mess and being sick, if you look closely you can see that the blessings far outweighed the wrinkles!!

It is truly a day to rejoice!

I got to attend a baby dedication service this morning where seven sets of parents stood before the church promising to raise their children in a way that was pleasing to God. This just warms your heart that these parents acknowledged that our children are simply "on loaner" from our Heavenly Father and we can't be successful without him holding the reigns. It is also a reminder of days that weren't so long ago, where I stood before the congregation and promised to do the same. Sitting back, it gives me a minute to reflect on how well I am doing keeping the promise that I made myself with my babies. I then got to listen to my baby girl sing special music. Another gift that God has blessed me with to remind me just how much he loves us. And then as I got home and was dismayed at not feeling well and the mess that sat before, I checked Facebook and read that FBC has another "Godfilled" Sunday morning and night! and that God was setting fires in the hearts of his people! We had a wonderful Sunday morning last Sunday that was filled with baptisms, people walking the aisle and families joining. Today we have reports of youth and children being baptized and tonight of our youth reporting on their trip to Missionfuge. I hate I wasn't there, but it just makes you want to jump up and scream and rejoice!! God is truly good! It is such a wonderful feeling to see him at work and igniting fires in the heart of his people, ESPECIALLY in our youth! I am like Jill, I just hope that we can stand behind them and keep them on fire and what better way for us to do this than by keeping our fire burning and leading by example. Well, I can't think of a better way to end a summer than with the blessings that God has given me today. Thank you Lord for opening my eyes to the blessings that this day has brought and not getting caught up in the little things that don't matter.

A Prayer for "Little Man"

2009-07-30T22:16:00.000-07:00

This week has been a very hard week for me as a Momma. Most people would celebrate at the fact that both of their kids had gone to youth camp for a week and they had a little time to get things done. It has resulted in alot of anxiety for me though. My Baleigh Bug is a complete people person. She loves to meet new people, go to new places and do new things! Camp and traveling are completely up her ally. She has been gone a week and I have only talked to her one time. My "Little Man" is a completely different story. Those that know him know that my Thomas Patrick has severe ADHD and he also has alot of anxiety as well about certain situations. To meet him you would never think it, but he is extremely insecure. He has been an old sole in a small body since the day he was born. He is perfectly comfortable among grown men, doing things such as hunting and working. Many people say we have made him that way, but truly he has always been that way on his own. He is responsible and trustworthy with things that many men can't or won't do. I have seen him cut his hand wide open and simply try and put a bandaid on it and it would need stitches, but a child can bump him or get rough with him at school and he will completely lose it. My "Little Man" has alot of anxiety being around children his own age for some reason. This results in him not playing most sports, though he will beg us to go to games or sit on the sidelines and play. I know in his heart he truly wants too, but he just can't bring himself to. He does not like being around alot of kids, especially children that he doesn't know. Since he has been a little boy, he hasn't even let me invite many more than 3 or 4 to his birthday parties and even then I would catch him playing by himself. So you can imagine the anxiety I had as a mom sending him to camp. He really didn't want to go, but I encouraged him to go, trying to encourage him to try new things. Well he has been a trooper, but it hasn't come easily to him. I got a call Wednesday morning with him having a complete meltdown. He wanted me to come get him NOW all because he didn't want to go into breakout groups with children he didn't know. Then he got separated from his group with Baleigh in a rain storm, which was not a good thing for him. And then there is tonight, I just got off of the phone with him at 12:00 having a complete meltdown once again. He had been roughhousing with the boys and the chaperon, as boys will do. Well tonight they were chunking things at each other and he was hit with a "ketchup pack" of all things a little hard and completely lost it. He cried for I know a solid hour wanting me to come and get him. I knew that this was a result of being completely tired and probably a little bit of getting his feelings hurt, but he was truly convinced that someone had set out to intentionally hurt him, which was the farthest from the truth!!

Tomorrow I will have both of my chicks back in the nest, but it doesn't stop a Momma from worrying about my baby's ability to handle situations in the future, especially as he grows up and finishes school. I guess a mother's praying is NEVER done!, but my heart is burdened tonight for my Little Man! Lord I pray that you give Thomas peace tonight so that he can rest, I pray that you give him strength to handle situations as they arise, I pray that you reveal to him that he is completely surrounded by people who love him and that he is your child Lord and divinely made just the way You wanted him to be! Lord thank you also for the patience and compassion that Angela, Christy and Adam have shown my Little Man throughout this week!

They are truly blessings!

Scattered isn't the Word!

2009-07-27T19:27:00.000-07:00

Well those that know and love me will tell you that sometimes I am just a little impulsive and scattered brained!
The last couple of days have been one of those times. I have fixated on trading my Bug in and even went so far as to drive home a 4 door Corolla today.
Just what I need, another silver boring vehicle that is practical.
Don't even ask me what started this escapade, but needless to day I found myself driving the "trial" car home thinking the whole way, I have truly lost my mind. When I drove off and left my Bug it was like I was leaving my child! lol :D
How in the world do I get myself into stuff like this? Sure wish I would have called my friend to talk me out of it before I went instead of talking sense into me after I had wasted all of my darn time!
Jill reminded me that I didn't get my Bug to be practical, that I got it because I had always wanted one. I have it decorated with my daisies and even got a cutie tag! It wasn't bought for the comfort of others, but for the happiness it brings to me every time I look at it and drive it.
Thanks Jill! How well you know me. :D
After I had a good afternoon of the cry babies I thought about what I had learned from this whole stupid adventure, because I think everything happens for a reason. I think the human side of us is always searching for something that we think will make us be happier. Whether it be a practical silver 4 door vehicle, a different house, new clothes, some a new spouse (not me!), whatever it may be, without realizing it we talk ourselves into being unhappy at times and start searching for that happiness. Fact is I have everything that makes me happy. I have a wonderful husband and two beautiful children, I have friends that I cherish dearly, a good job and wonderful boss, and yes a daisy decorated "Bug"!
Momma, being my momma who knows me well, said, "Beth I knew you would never be happy getting rid of your Bug, but you had to find out for yourself.".
She's right, but I sure am glad I didn't sign a dotted line before I learned my lesson. :D

Rocking at the Dock

2009-07-21T19:58:00.000-07:00

Well we have started our VBS this week every night from 5:30- 9:00. We are only 2 nights into it and, as if I should have ever doubted it, God has already showed up and showed out!

It is completely amazing to me how we are there to minister to and spread the gospel to children and us adults walk away with the bulk of the life lessons.

Well the first night we were learning that God is with us. Why do we as adults forget that we are never alone. As I sat there and assured the children that they are never alone, I think about the times where I feel alone and like I don't have anybody. I know better and through this lesson God gave me assurance once again that he is always with me. Another thing that we discussed is how when Moses saw the burning bush that he argued with God and didn't want to and didn't think he could do what God was asking of him. Once again how many times do we find our self arguing with God about something that he is asking us to do. Sometimes that may be loving someone when they aren't so lovable, sometime that may be forgiving when we don't think we should or sometimes that may be when we are going to trials in life that we just don't think we we can make it through. God is with us, Fear Not!

Well tonight was teaching us that God is Powerful! We talked about the plagues coming over the land when the pharaoh wouldn't free God's people. You know what, the same God that is powerful enough to send plagues across the lands all those years ago, is the same God that is powerful enough to tackle life's problems with us and to give us the strength to do what we need to do in life.

It has been a wonderful week so far, tiring, but rewarding! I have seen the light of Christ in the eyes of small children, I have seen adults rekindle broken relationships, I have seen youth being the hands and feet of God, simply put we have experienced God! Come join us!

A Vision of Beauty

2009-07-13T20:16:00.000-07:00

Well I did it! I took Baleigh to TG McCary and had her 11 yr old portrait done. I did one at 3, now at 11 and her next one will be (gasp!) her senior portrait!

Those that know me know that I love to take pictures of my own babies as well as for others, but this man is truly a master at his craft.

The last visit consisted of bows, a beautiful organdy dress and a chicken nugget happy meal. This visit consisted of a sundress, a straightening iron, an ever so slight ting of makeup and a trip to the Mexican restaurant.

Simply stated, my sweet baby girl is growing up whether I like it or not.

I watched her as she posed for her pictures and she was truly a vision of beauty to my eyes. Her gorgeous thick blonde hair that I would kill to have, her eyes that light completely up when she laughs and the way I can see the wonderful man I am married to in her face. I don't know what I did to deserve God to allow me to be her mom, but she is growing up to be a wonderful young lady. Don't get me wrong, she is like any other child going through her hormonal moments etc. etc., but she has a kind and giving heart, she has morals that don't seem to waiver easily, she is well grounded in her faith, she has an infectious laugh and she is my sweet baby!

God has blessed me tremendously through the gift of my children!

Paper Bag Blessings!!

2009-07-09T20:31:00.001-07:00

http://bethsbigjourney.blogspot.com

Bail Out!

2009-07-08T19:49:00.000-07:00

Okay, I'm hoping this is just a bad week, but I'm not sure how much longer of this liquid diet I am gonna be able to take.

I have been on it one month and have lost around 20lbs, but it is becoming soooo hard! They said that it would become easier, but truly for me it has seemed harder to do as I have went.

I have NOT been short of encouragement by far and am soooo thankful for those encouraging me, but it is truly one of the hardest things that I have ever in my life done.

We just aren't engineered to drink everything we eat. Everytime I drink a meal I say to myself, you have 4 weeks down and 8 more to go, but my mind isn't convinced. I am sooo encouraged by a friend who has lost 100 + lbs in 5 months, but I just don't think I'm gonna be able to make it that far.

I don't know if I am having an off day or what, but feeling a little defeated right now. Scared I couldn't lose the weight any other way.

Just rambling tonight, but really torn as to my decisions. Thanks for listening!

One Sick Daddy!

2009-06-28T19:07:00.000-07:00

There's alot of things I can handle, but I can't handle Pat being as sick as he has been these last few days!

Pat came in on from Mrs. Karen's funeral last Sunday and said, "I feel awful. My head is hurting so bad I can't stand it and my neck is stiff and my arms are really hurting." I thought that this didn't sound really good. Well, throughout the course of the week he got 4 antibiotic shots and saw his daddy or Karen daily. Every day instead of getting better he continued to get worse. Every day I continued to get more and more worried. Finally Friday he got to where he couldn't even swallow soup and I called his daddy and said that something had to give. I couldn't stand him like this any longer.

We went to Dr. Mooney and he said that Pat had strep and it had gotten in his lymph nodes bad, throat and had gotten in his body and caused him to become septic.

Sooooo, long story short we spent Friday through Saturday in the hospital getting lots of IV antibiotics. Slowly but surely he has gotten better and we got to come home. He has 10 more days on two different antibiotics and then hopefully we will be through and well.

You never know in life what awaits you around the corner. We are thankful for all of our friends checking on us and praying for us throughout this little trial. We are blessed richly with friendships!

Girls Just Wanna Have Fun....

2009-06-12T18:22:00.000-07:00

I am a complete 80's girl, I grew up in the land of fluorescent shirts and plastic jewelry, parachute pants, barrettes with little ribbon braided on them and watching Friday Night Videos hoping to get a glimpse of Cyndi Lauper, Madonna or the new Thriller video.

Well I have a daughter who is a girl after my own heart, she is all 80's at heart.

She has been saving her money lately and even working to make more to make a trip to Rue 21. I had put it off for a couple of days, but today was the day.

That place is a complete explosion and tribute to the 80's. It was mass chaos, but I had so much fun watching her go around mixing and matching clothes, trying them on and asking my opinion about outfits. Every so often she would say, "Momma, I am having so much fun." My baby girl is her own little person and with her own creative style. Others may not always understand it, but she seems to be comfortable in her own skin and I am grateful for it.

All in all, it was just a good trip shopping with my baby girl! I know all to well that it won't be very long before I won't be quite as cool as I am now, my opinion on clothes definitely won't be as coveted and I will be missing these little times that God has allowed me to have.

Thank you Lord for these little moments with my children and help me never to take them for granted or let one by without seizing it. :D

Additional Blog

2009-06-09T20:23:00.000-07:00

Hey guys, started an additional blog just to vent about this new weight loss journey, it is
http://bethsbigjourney.blogspot.com
Hope this keeps me from boring my friends with all the goofy details that I am sure I will want to vent about.
Hope it last more than a week! :D

A New Chapter.....

2009-06-08T15:14:00.000-07:00

It's been a while since I posted and what a depressing post my last one was! lol

I have been thinking alot lately about life in general. Sitting back realizing the blessings that surround me and the journey that I have traveled throughout my life.

I have had alot of trials in my life that I absolutely don't regret because they have shaped me into who I am. I have spent a large part of my adult life trying to keep everyone happy around me, many times at my own expense because of fear of losing people and having people be upset with me.

Well lately I have been thinking more about how fully I am living my life and realizing more and more daily that I only have one life and that I simply am not getting any younger, nor am I guaranteed tomorrow.

I want to write a new chapter in my life. I want to enjoy what God has blessed me with without reservations. I have a wonderful husband, two beautiful babies and an abundance of friends. I am tired of saying not now, maybe later, I wish I had..... and so on. I am realizing it is okay to say No and if I want to do something that is just for me at times, it is okay also and I don't have to have permission or approval from the world.

People who truly love me, are gonna love me, unconditionally!

In all of this thinking I have decided to try a weight reduction program that is medically monitored. It is drastic, it is strict, but I am simply to that point! I have been so excited at how supportive my friends have been. It is another weight loss endeavor, but at this point, I can't NOT try. I am going to start praying now and I ask that you do as well for my discipline and for God to change my heart about my health and how I view food. I owe this to myself and my family. I start on July 17th, so start praying now! I am sure that I will need it.

I am beginning to realize that one of the ways that I can make my husband, children, family and friends happier, is not always by what I can do for them, but simply by being happy with myself.

I know this has been alot of random blubbering, but after all, I started blogging as a way to get my thoughts out, not to prove how beautifully I can write. Anyway, anyone who knows me knows I talk randomly "or chase rabbits" all the time. That's what makes me, me!

I encourage you as well to think about how you are living the life that God has given you. Are you living it to it's fullest, or you procrastinating it away, are you living for the happiness of others and never finding yourself happy in the process. Just thoughts to ponder....

Who's That Looking Back at Me?

2009-05-15T22:37:00.000-07:00

Well I'm having one of those nights ladies and many of you have had them.

Do you ever just feel that you have lost yourself somewhere along the way? That you are going through the motions of life, but not living it to the fullest?

I just got back from Relay for Life tonight and I have come home with this burdened on my mind. As I carried on through the night I found myself among people, survivors who have fought for their lives and it made me think, "Why aren't you living yours? Are you living your best life?" Looking at myself it seems as if I have become someone that I don't even recognize at times. I am battling my weight, well I wouldn't call it a battle, I am actually nurturing my weight. My legs and feet can't hold me up for long periods of time, "Yes, I have a condition, but there are ways I could better help myself!" I could barely make it 7 laps and I watch senior adults walking too many laps to even count. Those that know me know that I love music and love to dance, my heart dances inside, but my body is too ashamed to let anyone see it on the outside. I had to leave because I simply couldn't stand anymore because my legs had become so swollen and red. I am 36 years old and this just ain't a' gettin it! I spend my time trying to make others smile and laugh, but I don't think I smile and laugh like I used to. I don't know, maybe I am rambling, but I just feel like I have let myself go in many ways and aren't recognizing the woman I have become at times. I know that I have a Father that loves me regardless and ladies I am not talking about my earthly father, but my Heavenly Father, but I also know that he wants me to live the best life that I can and to be as happy as I can. I have said this sooooo many times to others, "The only one who can truly make you happy is yourself. If you wait for others to do it, it will never happen.", hum, seems like good advice, maybe I should take it!

What's my plan, not sure yet, not some crazy unrealistic goal or anything, but I know just who I can take it too and we are gonna get this thing worked out together. God, can you hear me, we need to talk........

Polka Dotted Blessings....

2009-05-10T16:42:00.000-07:00

To many women, this may look like one of the "tackiest" pieces of luggage for any grown woman to have, but to me this is a true piece of beauty. You see, this was my Mother's Day present from my baby boy.

I recently went to Savages Drug Store to get a gift for a friends birthday, while I was there my baby boy Thomas was checking everything out. He would come up to me and say, "Momma, what do you think about this?" and I would comment, but go on about my business. He continued with his critical looking and I simply went right on about my business. He told me that he needed to call his daddy and I needed to drop him off by the Vet clinic. I knew what he was up to, but told him that we didn't have time to go to the clinic and we weren't going to bother his daddy right now, that they would shop later. I must admit he seemed a little heart broke at the pace of our day and the fact that I couldn't accomodate him and was really upset at the fact that this particular store would be closed and he wouldn't be able to come back. Well I went ahead and checked out and went to the car, no Thomas. Exasperated I told Baleigh, "Go in and tell Thomas Patrick to come on. We are in a hurry." She did and he come out and made a statement to the effect that he didn't realize we left. I asked him was he mad at me and he said that he wasn't. Well last night he simply couldn't hold it anymore. He told me to go in the bedroom and come out when he told me to. I came out and there was a heap in the floor and he said, "Sit down momma, I have a big surprise for you." So I did and he ripped away the afghan covering the heap and there it was, the lime green suitcase with bright orange polka dots and there he was with the biggest smile of pride a little fella could have. I said, "Thomas, how did you get this." and he said, "Momma, I knew I wouldn't be able to make it back before the store closed, so I hid until you walked out of the store and then I gave the suitcase to the lady to put behind the counter for me." My little man!! What 9 year old has the forethought to ask a store clerk to put away that "perfect" gift for his momma! and what a beautiful gift it was!

In the picture with my new suitcase is my new purse that my baby girl got me. Once again, I saw it and had fallen in love with it and wouldn't get it for myself. You guessed it. she managed to get her daddy back there and got that too. It truly meant the world that my babies went to such great lengths to make my Mother's Day perfect and it was just that! Perfect!

We had a great Mothers Day! We went to church together, went to eat with my Momma and kids, and then Pat, the kids, me and my Momma went to the movies, got icecream and then back home. What a beautiful day!

Count Your Blessings Name them One by One...

2009-04-04T07:56:00.000-07:00

As I wake up this morning and begin to count my blessings, I now have two more to add to them. Isn't it wonderful how God continues to bless us even when we don't deserve it. Last night my mom married a wonderful man named David Derrick. He is good to my mom and he loves my kids and husband dearly. David also has a son named Chris, so both of us are no longer technically only children. Somehow that is just nice, even though we haven't had time to establish a relationship. My mom has been through some trials with relationships and I have never understood why it has always not worked out, now I know why! He was saving the best for last. May I introduce you to Mr. and Mrs. David Derrick

Don't ya' just love that wonderful look Thomas has on his face. He wanted to give his Mawmaw away, so brother Webb had to throw that line in there. He then told David, "I'm not really giving her to you. She is still MY Mawmaw".
Here is me and mom and David and his son Chris.

Me and my momma. I love you mom and wish you all of the happiness that you truly deserve.

David and his son Chris.

Two hands joined together, praying that nothing will seperate them apart.

Joy in Pictures...

2009-04-01T20:13:00.001-07:00

Those that know me know that I have a love for photography. I love the happiness it brings people to see their loved ones captured in pictures. It's something that I enjoy doing that seems to bring a little joy to others.

Here are some pictures that I took of my Aunt Linda's grandbabies about a week ago at the creek. I was burning her a disc tonight and couldn't help but smile at these little faces, so I thought I would share their beautiful smiles with you too! :D

This is baby Ronnie. He is the serious one of the bunch. He was really interested in the rocks and sand.

Isn't this sweet! My Aunt Linda went through great lengths trying to get the 3 of them to sit still. I know, good luck with that.

This is Madelyn. A typical little princess, drama included.

This bright eyed baby is Joey. I could have taken pictures of his sweet face all day long.

Doesn't this picture just make you wonder what he is thinking? I loved it.

Thanks for letting me share! :D

Happy Birthday NaNa.....

2009-03-29T18:12:00.000-07:00

Happy Birthday Mrs. Mary Kathryn, most importantly known as NaNa. Yesterday was my mother-in-law's birthday and we all got together last night and ate supper together. It was a good time of family, food and fellowship. We laughed together, Uncle Pat aggravated all of the little ones until they screamed, Syd of course cooked some delicious ribs and Pawpaw had a sparkle in his eye as he sat back and watched it all. It seems like every time we turn around we are hearing of someone becoming critically ill or God has called another one of our loved ones home. Sometimes we just have to slow down and enjoy each other when we can and while we can. It was just a good night for a special lady in our lives. Thank you for all that you do for us and all that you mean to us! Happy Birthday Nana!

Sweet Baby Boy!

2009-03-24T18:52:00.001-07:00

Everybody, meet the newest member of our family, James Hollis Smith. For those that know me, this is Lesleye and Jim's newest addition. I got to go over weekend before last and get my hands on him. He is sooooo sweet. He just curled up in a ball and slept so soundly in my lap. Of course he was trying to make a "story teller" out of his mom who he's been keeping up at night. It seems like eternity since my babies were this age. It's always nice to get your hands on a little one again! So sweet! :D

Spring Has Sprung!

2009-03-21T19:26:00.001-07:00

Aren't these babies a sight to behold. It was such a pretty day that Pat and I decided to take the babies to the creek to play. I believe the last words were, "We promise, we are just gonna get our feet wet." Yeah right! They had fun though and I am sure that the pneumonia will be ever bit worth it. It was when when I was little.

Let's just say that "daddy" didn't make it long watching the kids play, but I enjoyed watching him sleep peacefully.

The kids spotted these flowers instantly and had to bring me some.
It's really hard to be out in nature and not be in complete awe of God's creations.

I was intriqued at the way this dried up dirt looked. This is all that is left when the water subsides. I couldn't help but think that this is how our lives look without the living water of God within it.

Simply broken, dry and thirsty.

This picture made me think about "Footprints". It made me think about the fact that I am never alone and that he always carries me even when I may not realize it.

All in all it was just a really good day with the family.

Lord, thank you for helping me to slow down and enjoy your beautiful creation today in my family and the world around me.

Modest Truly is Hottest!

2009-03-19T20:09:00.000-07:00

Today was alot of fun!

Baleigh Bug was back (thank goodness, I'm lost without her) and she and I slept in and then headed to Brookhaven to do some shopping. Thomas made sure to ditch us quickly, he didn't want to get caught up in any kind of shopping trip that didn't include the Bass Pro shop.

We of course started out at Cracker Barrel for the late breakfast that we love to go eat together.

We then went shopping for Spring time clothes that she so desperately needed.

We found alot at our "old faithful" stop, Cato, including an absolutely beautiful Easter dress. She looked so grown up in it!

I was really tickled, alot of black clothes out though for Easter, oh well, I'm definitely not a "Fashion Diva" guess that's whats in this year!

While looking through all of the clothes and trying on clothes today, I couldn't help but notice that I kept finding myself hearing the same words over and over from Baleigh, "that's too short", "that's too low cut" and "that fits too tight". Truly music to my ears and I know you mom's would agree! It was one of those "God wink" moments that you realized that you might have done a little something right at some point. In a time where many moms are struggling to get their girls to keep their body parts covered, here is my "angel baby" making sure that hers is. I said, "Baleigh Bug, why are you so worried about these things?" and she said, "Remember the shirt that we got from LifeWay that time momma, Modest is Hottest!"

Thank you Lord for a daughter that makes wise choices that glorify you. A daughter that respects herself enough to realize that she doesn't have to have attention at her own expense. Night guys, :D

A Beautiful Day...

2009-03-18T19:17:00.000-07:00

Nothing out of the ordinary happened today, other than it was a completely beautiful day!

Days like this are just another way that God shows us just how much he loves us.

Got to sleep late this morning! I love sleeping in! My baby girl came home from a trip that she had been on since Friday and I went and picked her up. I am truly lost without her, she is my sidekick. I realize more and more daily how precious this "sidekick" time is. It won't be long that I will find myself alone way more than I care too. Baleigh and I then met Pat and Thomas for a quick lunch then we headed out to Brookhaven. Jill had called and said they were at the park having a picnic and playtime and we dropped by there and had fun just sitting and talking while watching the kids. It was a perfect park day! Went on to an eye appointment with Baleigh and then off to church. Pat and I were supposed to be teaching our marriage class tonight, Ha! Ha! Marriage is a whole lot of learning and not much teaching, but we really had fun discussing "Anger" tonight. It's just good to get together and share.

Just another ordinary day, but what a "beautiful day" it was!

Lord thank you for days like this, nothing out of the ordinary, but extraordinary! :D Beth

Baby Steps....

2009-03-16T11:05:00.000-07:00

Once again I have stepped on the scale and see a number that tells me that I am as heavy as I have ever been. Why is it soooo hard? Why is it that I truly "long" for food? It's sad to fight a battle within yourself daily and lose! I wake up thinking about breakfast. When I travel I am instantly planning the best place to eat in the area. Just plain sad! As I do this new marriage study, I realize just how much I let my self esteem cause troubles in my life and I simply find myself mad alot for no apparent reason. I am 36 years old and I am already very aware of how much of my life I have allowed to pass me by simply "not feeling good"! I ache, hurt and am lethargic most of the time. I try and find reasons for all of these aches and pains and simply put, my body is just "sick and tired" of hauling around all of this weight. Is it really worth it? Immediately it seems so when I want to eat, in the long run, definately not!

So once again I am going to try and take "baby steps" at being healthier, with the hope that this time I may learn to walk. It's bad, this summer I've been invited on a short trip to the beach with friends and we are planning a trip to Disney next November and one of the things that keeps entering my mind is, I will give out trying to walk on the sand, what in tarnation will I wear and I am going to be bigger than everyone else! Once again, sad!

Today I am going to try to give up my sodas and commit to doing some type of exercise 3 times a week. I just have to get it through my thick head that there will never "BE" time, I have to "MAKE" time! Oh well, wish me luck! I assure you I will need it! This is just one of many failed attempts, maybe this could be the one something actually changes. Who knows, but I have to try! Thanks for listening to my daily ramblings! Beth :)

I Need More than Hamburger to Be My Helper :)

2009-03-12T17:41:00.000-07:00

Does anyone else out there dislike cooking during the week as much as I have come to? It seems like the older I get the less I want to cook. I am not one of those ladies who are "cookingly" challenged, just motivationally challenged I guess! lol

I truly could eat cereal every night of the week.

My babies are getting to the age where they just don't eat much at a meal and it is so disheartening to spend all that time on a meal and then it takes 5 minutes to eat it.

Oh well, guess we go through seasons in our life and I am in the "don't wanna cook" season!

This too shall pass, or at least Pat hopes so! Ha! Ha! :)

I know, this was a crazy blog, just one of the many "random" thoughts that enters my mind on a daily basis.

Those who know me well know that I have many "random" thoughts, but they love me for it anyway! lol

Have a "wonderful" weekend!

Marriage 101

2009-03-11T18:47:00.000-07:00

Had a "wonderful" night in our couples Bible study, "Making Love Last Forever". It is always fun to sit around with other couples and share. You suddenly realize, "Hey! We're normal." It was so neat that the study had one of my "mostest favoritest" quotes.

I can not control what happens around me, but I can control how I react.

(Not that I always choose to react the right way! lol :)

The study talked alot about how we have to choose to be happy, regardless of our surroundings and circumstances and stop blaming every problem we have on everything and everyone around us.

Ouch my toe Lord, but I hear you loud and clear!

Just a fun night of sharing, laughing and learning in the house of God!

Lord thank you for the marriage and husband that you have blessed me so abundantly with. Thank you for the problems that we have and for our ability to work through them with your help. Thank you for revealing to me daily that everyone has struggles, you always manage to keep me grounded. Night, night! Beth :-)

The To Do List....

2009-03-10T17:14:00.000-07:00

Well here we are the week before Spring Break. It has been wild and wooly lately in the world of teaching and Spring Fever has sprung! A full moon too. Before we know it summer time will be upon us. I don't know if time is truly flying or if I am just getting older. No comments welcomed on that one. Ha! Ha! I, as usual, had started writing my Spring Break to do list down on a notebook when these wonderful chores would come to mind. I had taken this notebook to computer lab with me this morning jotting down lesson plans and one of my babies was toting it back for me and "haphazardly" I am sure, read it. By the time we got back to the classroom the children have obviously shared the information and was giggling. One finally mustered up the courage and said, "Mrs. Larkin, do you really think you are going to be able to do all of that stuff." Good question I thought. Unfortunately the other sign of my age is that it contained a full weeks worth of fun things like sweeping the porch, painting the outside doors and organizing the office. Yuck! What I really wanted to be doing is running off to sun and solitude for a couple of days with Jill, Christy and our girls. Oh well, maybe next year. That's the only way we can get away together, our other vacations are planned around each other because she is the only one that can keep that clinic running when we aren't there. You da bomb friend!

Jill if your out there, we need to claim a long weekend once a year for a short getaway!!

We'll call it therapy or something! Ha! Ha!

Well I have once again cheated myself out of having to cook supper, so let me go make myself useful at something else! :-) Have a good night everyone!

To Regret or Not to Regret....

2009-03-07T22:32:00.000-08:00

It's 1:30 in the morning and I have complete insomnia despite Tylenol PM and suspected flu! Have you ever had one of those nights where your body so desperately wants to rest, but your mind simply refuses to quit turning? (Of course you have, your women.) I started a new couples bible study this past week at church and was working through my lessons earlier tonight and it discussed acknowledging past choices that you have made that affect your marriage negatively now. I thought about this and most of my really "ugly skeletons" have long since been laid at the feet of my Heavenly Father and are covered, therefore do not hinder my marriage. The one bad choice that "I chose" and continued to choose that negatively affects my marriage is the choice to live unhealthy, which results in poor self image, which results in unhappiness at times and just an overall feeling of discontentment. I say "I choose" to live unhealthy because my study emphasizes on owning your choices and not blaming them on anything or anyone. This made me really sit back and think about my life. I just had this conversation with my best friend. We were discussing the fact that the only person that controls our happiness is ourselves! That's powerful. This made me start thinking about regrets that we have and why we don't choose to live our lives, but simply live in our lives! For instance, I was invited to go to the coast in June for four days this summer with some friends. I have saved for this trip since August and every part of my body is trying to talk myself out of it. Why? One of these friends has battled cancer, we are simply not guaranteed these opportunities again once they pass, and still I try and talk myself out of it. I almost talked myself out of a trip to New York once with my best friend Jill, I gave myself every reason why I shouldn't go, but did. I thank God everyday for giving us that experience not only together, but together with our girls! Memories that will never go away! I know I'm rambling, but I truly think the devil tells us moms, wives and daughters that we aren't worth the time, therefore we end up with regrets, whether it be another year and 20 more lbs, a missed trip with friends, a splurge on a pedicure, a bad make-over from your daughter or a hunting trip with your son (itchy and hot as it may be). And then if that isn't bad enough, I tend to blame others and circumstances as to why I didn't "Seize the Moment" and am left with regrets! We simply don't think we are worth taking the time and that there we will always be a "next time" and the fact is there may not be.

If we would only live each day as if it were our last. Hmmm!

Night guys! Thanks for listening! :) Beth

Tag! I'm it! :-)

2009-02-10T17:19:00.000-08:00

How fun! Leon has tagged me and it is a really cool tag. I was supposed to look in my 4th file and pick my 4th picture and tell about it so here goes.

Aren't they sweet! This is a picture of my beautiful baby girl and the man that I am still madly in love with after 20 yrs. What I think about most when I see this picture is how lucky I am that God has sent me Pat to be the father of my babies. I didn't have a father in my life growing up and relied completely on my Heavenly Father in those deep dark times when I would have loved to have had a nice, safe lap to climb into. My children will not know this feeling as long as those big ole' size 13's walk this Earth. Instead he is a daddy who is always there and present in their lives, always having time for them. I am lucky because my children will not come to know their Heavenly Father because they have nothing else, but will come to know their Heavenly Father through the guidance of their earthly father. Thank you Lord for "Godly" husbands! Thank you for Pat!

Renegade Mini Van Momma!

2009-01-31T18:54:00.000-08:00

I almost forgot to tell everyone about my exciting adventure before the date with the hubby!

I was coming in front of our vet clinic on Friday and suddenly a State Trooper pulls out behind me, the "Mini Van Bandit" with lights blazing! I look in the rear view mirror and notice that not only is he following, but a Sheriff's car had pulled in behind him in pursuit of me as well. I pulled over and the trooper comes to the window and says, "Maam, I need to see your license.", I handed him my license, hoping he wouldn't arrest me for impersonating a skinnier woman and he looked at them and said, "Are you from around here?". I almost got tickled and simply said, "Yes Sir", while pointing to the vet clinic. He then said, "Is this your vehicle?", I really got tickled then and the devil in me was thinking, "Naw! I just stole it, it was too fine to resist!", but I minded my manners and laid claim to the fine grey specimen of a vehicle in which I sat. He then went on to ask me if I was aware that my tag was expired. I showed him my new tag and explained that my dear sweet husband had not found time to do it since I bought it last may. (By the way, I have tried, but a screw is stripped out.) He made me promise that I would go straight home and take care of this and I promised and crossed my heart! As he went to walk off, much to my dismay he noticed my inspections sticker which had expired last May with my tag. And for this, I was awarded a little yellow driving award!

Oh well, life goes on! I have to wonder though, what they both were thinking to think that I required two of our finest to pursue me. "Hey dude, here comes a mini van with an expired tag! The middle aged lady that is driving looks tired, like she may have worked all day, just got through fussing with her kids, spilled a coke in the console, just realized she forgot to get her hormones filled and knows that we have noticed her tag is expired. Dude, I'm gonna need back up!" Ha! Ha! Have a good night!

High Speed Internet, I have arrived!

2009-01-31T18:47:00.000-08:00

I am so excited! I have finally arrived, I now have high speed internet!
I know, it doesn't take much to excite me! When you come from the land of dial-up, it is a big jump!

It's been a good weekend! Pat took me to see the new movie "Taken" on Friday night and it was absolutely AWESOME! Sat on the edge of my seat until the very last second.
It's kinda weird that Pat and I get to do things like that more and more. Our babies are getting older and having agendas of their own and sometimes to our amazement we find ourselves alone.
Just a creeping reminder that our babies are growing up on us! How fast that happens.

A great start to a laid back weekend!

"remarkably and wonderfully made", but tired!

2009-01-28T15:26:00.000-08:00

As I looked at my devotional today, one of the reference verses was

Psalm 139:14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;

your works are wonderful,

I know that full well.

Please bear with me, I just have to vent. I am a Christian and I have much faith, but as the title states, I am simply getting tired. On one side, I am so grateful for my problems, because they are mine and so small compared to others, but it doesn't help going through them nonetheless sometimes.

My health just stinks in soooo many ways. Those who know me, know that I am a disaster in many ways in the health sense. I think that I take it all in stride and I try not to let it get me down. I try not to completely unload on my friends all of the time, because everyone has problems. I get up "put on my big girl panties" and go on, because "by golly" God allowed me to have another day and I thank him. Lately though I just can't seem to put it on the back burner. For some reason I seem to have this high rate of inflammation going on in my body that will not go away. We have taken my levels several times and they just won't go down. I am beginning to get knots on the joints in my hands and there are days that I cringe at opening up a coke top or wringing out a rag. This joint pain has gotten really bad in my hands and my eversotroublesome feet and legs. I am being sent to a rheumatologist to rule out something like Lupus or Rheumatoid Arthritis. I guess this seems minor to many, but I would have to list all of my other malfunctions to put it in perspective. He definately hasn't said it, but I know it gets tiresome for Pat as well. It's not easy having a spouse I am sure who never feels good at night. My baby boy even had to pump my gas yesterday because I couldn't turn the gas cap. And to top it all off I went for more levels today and was told that I could be diagnosed with Diabetes with the sugar level that registered and I now have to go back for that.

I say all of this friends, to simply ask you to pray for me to be more tolerant of this body that God has given me and to know that nothing is in vain. I do not ask for you to pray that I don't have the above conditions, but that the doctors find out what is going on so that I can move on with whatever course of action that I need to and get on with life and be the best momma, wife and friend that I can be. Thanks for listening! Have a "blessed" week, don't take the small things too seriously, laugh alot (it is truly good medicine) and love more! Beth

Long Time, No Blog!

2008-12-28T19:25:00.000-08:00

Hi everyone! I know you thought I must have been kidnapped. I assure you everytime something happens in my life I think, "that would blog", but I live in the land of "dial-up" and my computer has been on the fritz. Anyway, glad to be back girls!
I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas holiday. Christmas is always a time when I sit back and marvel at the blessings that God has bestowed upon me with family and friends. Don't get me wrong, it was as frantic as always, but in those brief moments of sanity we are reminded of the "TRUE" reason for the season. As I wrapped the gifts so frantically preparing for that special day I was reminded of that dear and precious gift that was wrapped up for me and you on that special day so very long ago. Only that present wasn't wrapped in beautiful paper and sparkling bows, but in swaddling clothes and laid in a manger. It is truly a humbling thought!
December was busy as usual, but I accomplished alot. I got to go on a shopping trip with my best friend Jill (we never get to do that), I lived through dropping my first born off at the band hall and watching her march in her first parade, I made fingerfoods by the multitude, I hosted a wedding shower, I made both of Baleigh's programs and managed to get both either videoed or pictured, I traveled to MSU with my GNO girls and supported our friend Marina in marrying off her daughter and the list goes on....
What is it about December and January that makes you think you can conquer the world. Do any of you experience this? I always begin these months determined to conquer the feats that I didn't in the years before. I have already begun the ritual of cleaning out and up! Of course I am thinking of how I am going to get those "many" extra pounds off! Ha! Ha!Etc. Etc. I just wish I could keep the determination throughout the year that I have when each year begins!
Okay, I am rambling and it is getting late! Another resolution, blog shorter, but more often! Ha! Ha! God's Blessings, Beth

Happy Birthday Sheila D!

2008-11-11T15:48:00.000-08:00

Today is the big 40! for someone that I love. Today is my good friend Sheila's 40th birthday. Many get depressed on this day and simply don't want to talk about it. Many mope around at the very thought of growing older. Well I guess you could see it that way and then you could see it Sheila's way and be "grateful" and thankful for everyday, everything and everybody. There isn't hardly a time that you don't see her that she doesn't bring a smile to your face. This is a special gift, but what makes it even more special is that Sheila was diagnosed with cancer in this very month two years ago. God allowed me to be with her when she heard the news of the big"C". I have never seen a person with so much courage. Yes, she has had her down times, but is almost always "optimistic". She has been given "so" many reasons to gripe and complain (much like her friend Beth), but not her, she takes life in stride and tends to put self aside and do for others. She is an inspiration and helps me to keep life in perspective.

Happy Birthday Sheila D!

"Sisters" not by blood, but by "Heart"

2008-11-08T17:51:00.000-08:00

The Lord blessed me many years ago with a brother that the world would later take away. I never intended being that "only child", but through circumstance ended up there. It would be circumstance later on that would help to fill this void when my path crossed with Jill and Christy. I call the both of them my friends, but in heart they are truly my sisters.

These two women mean the world to me and I love them dearly. We have cried together, laughed together, celebrated together, fussed together, raised children together, been wives together, been stressed together, went to church together, been through illness together, become Pampered Chef junkies together and the list just goes on and on and on....

It amazes me the plan that God lays before us that we aren't aware of. Just when we think that our puzzle is incomplete and none of the pieces left will fit in the empty spot, he provides us with that perfect piece that fits so divinely snug.

I attended a women's conference this weekend called "Extraordinary Women". It talked about seeing the beauty in ourselves and in others. These two people are both beautiful and "Extraordinary Women" to me. I don't have to look hard at all the see the beauty in either one of them. No matter what the circumstance, "I know their heart" and I love them for it.

Thank you Lord for the "blessings" that you have given me through these two women.

I love you both! A friend loves you all the time. Proverbs 17:17

"Fros" and "Banditos" a Trick or Treat Treasure

2008-11-06T18:45:00.000-08:00

This Halloween was another one of those fleeting "Momma Moments" that you realize are just passing you by. It makes you want to put life in slow motion to take in every minute of it. As if I had been hit by a ton of bricks, the reality that this was my Baleigh's last time to go trick or treating was upon me. Next year she will be with the youth, my baby, youth! An even worse reality is that it is very likely that it will also be Thomas' last year because his "sissy" won't be doing it next year. Nevertheless, we had a "great" time! Baleigh has always lived for dressing up for Halloween. I mean we start planning on November 1st what our costume will be the next year. She went out with a bang this year. She was a 70's GoGo dancer. It was soooo Baleigh, fro and all. Thomas was a bandito this year, mustache, poncho, sideguns included. They were so cute! We went to a few houses that are our regulars and then went to the nursing home. That is my children's favorite stop! I think they know the joy it brings to the older residents and in return it brings joy to them, LOTS of candy too. We were then off to the church for games, hayrides and trunk or treating. It was a really good night with my babies! Another one of those "little things" that mean so much. :)

My "Baleigh Bug" is growing up!

2008-10-27T13:57:00.000-07:00

Today is my Baleigh Bug's birthday! My baby girl is now 11 years old, where does the time go to? The day is gone for party hats and birthday horns, it is now all about "outings" and planned events! Baleigh wanted to go to Jackson for her birthday this year, so Friday I took her and two friends to Jackson. One of her friend's mom is also a friend and coworker of mine and she was brave enough to ride with me. I took them to the Bonsai steakhouse and then to see Beverly Hills Chiqu....(how do you spell that? Ha! Ha!) They had a blast! Baleigh had never been to Bonsai, I didn't realize it, her eyes were as big as saucers. After Sunday dinner she had a cake with the family and of all things recieved a pair of roller blades from her grandmother. Those that know my Baleigh Bug know that this means "medical procedure"! So far so good though!

I remember the day that she was laid in my husbands arms and he looked at me with tears in his eyes and said, "Look what we did baby!" And now, as I type I hear her in her room singing to her iPod getting ready for a soccer game. I used to be able to sit in a room and listen to her sing to Veggie Tales. It is truly bitter sweet, she has been nothing but a blessing to me, she marches to her own drum, she makes wise decisions, she is kind, she is talented, she is a Christian and she is my daughter and whether I like it or not, she is growing up!!

I love you my sweet baby girl!

"Joy" in the little things!

2008-10-14T16:05:00.000-07:00

Well it has been Monday all day even though it's Tuesday. I teach and being off is nice, but it always throws a kink in things. I've once again spent the day with my mind racing and dwelling on things that I can't change. I even had several people come up to me and say, "What's up, your not your normal self." What is up with you Beth. I muttered through the rest of the day and headed home.

All the way home my babies were asking to carve their pumpkins. This great task began as soon as we hit the door. I started supper and stepped outside with my camera and there they were. My babies enjoying the age old tradition of pumpkin carving that I loved so well as a child. I couldn't help but smile and of course comment on how beautiful they were.

What a little thing, but what "Joy" it gave me today.

I'm go into the laundry room to start the wonderful task of washing clothes. While folding a load my husband appears in the doorway with a beautifully wrapped present that he bought for me today, just because. No way, I hear you Lord!

What a little thing, but what "Joy" it gave me today.

Back in the kitchen I go to finish supper and I hear a noise outside. My husband, without any nagging from me is trimming the bushes in the front of my house. Are you serious!

What a little thing, but what "Joy" it gave me today.

Thank you Lord for showing me all of the little things that bring me so much Joy and reminding me of my blessings!

"Life!"

2008-10-13T17:25:00.000-07:00

Today started good, I got to take my "little man" to Brookhaven to get him some new tennis shoes and run a couple of errands. I don't get to spend much time just me and him, so it was nice.

The rest of the day was just melancholy! It was overcast and it was one of those days where you didn't just sit around, but you didn't get alot done either. Somehow nowdays it seems like if I don't get things accomplished I have wasted a day. I think God wants us to take time sometimes and simply be still. Maybe I will learn that one day.

Though my body hasn't been as busy as it should, my mind has raced all day. I catch myself and my thoughts running 90 miles an hour thinking about everything, trying to figure things out and why things happen, what I need to do and what I should have done. The truth is, sometimes there isn't an answer for how things are and why things happen.

There is a prayer that I love dearly that helps me to keep my life in perspective.

God grant me the serenity to accept the things that I cannot change, courage to change the things I can and wisdom to know the difference.

Just one of those days I guess, thankful for it! Hope your week is "blessed"!

It's Official, My Baby is Growing Up!

2008-10-10T12:17:00.000-07:00

It's official, my baby boy is growing up. How do I know this? He now has a hair style!

It all started with a trip to Wal-Mart to get his hair cut. Up until now he always says, "Shave me bald just like my daddy." There have actually been times were he has cried because I wouldn't let him shave his head like his number one hero. Well this day was different! As he got ready to cut his hair he asked me could he get it styled. I stood their frozen in time asking myself if I had heard that correct. Well I told him sure and sat back as he went and got in the chair. Then to my horror the words came, "Take a little off of the sides please. Some off of the back and leave my bangs long so I can sling them over to the side." I sat there with all the years of little trims, booster seats and bribery to sit still flashing before my eyes. It was then I realized that those days were now behind me and my baby was becoming a young man.

Where does the time go? Am I making the most of it? How I love that beautiful little boy!

Just a Really Good Day!

2008-09-21T18:47:00.000-07:00

Today has just been a really good day!
Sunday school was good this morning. We were talking about putting things off, like losing weight, witnessing, staying right with God, daily prayer and the list goes on. We talked about how we are not guaranteed even another minute on this Earth and how we should truly live each second like it was our last. This brought alot of things home for me about my daily walk, my weight and so on.

I left Sunday School and played hooky from church and took my mom, Baleigh and her friend Emily to Jackson for my mom's birthday. (I know, shame on me!) We ate a late breakfast at Cracker Barrel, browsed in a couple of places and then took my mom to see the movie "The Women", which is all she asked for for her birthday.

You would know the major plot to the movie is how we live and carry on in a way that we think is pleasing to others and how you don't truly live until you have happiness in yourself. These women thought they were holding it all together and everyone watching them could see different, the message was that you can't hold anything together if you have no joy or self acceptance yourself.

Again, I here you Lord! I really enjoyed my day with my mom and my daughter. We laughed, talked and simply enjoyed each other's company. We aren't guaranteed tomorrow, so I am glad that I had today!

By the way, I didn't eat all of the icecream!

"Moo-llenium Crunch", the next best thing to Heaven!

2008-09-19T18:10:00.000-07:00

Well, I did it again! After being inspired by a friend, I cleaned out my closet last night. I have recently changed sizes and I finally got the nerve to get rid of my old pants and hopefully leave them behind. Except for the fact that I came home and rewarded myself this afternoon with a gallon of "Moo-llenium Crunch" icecream by Blue Bell. Maybe I need to keep a pair or two.

No I didn't eat the whole gallon, but that's not to say I won't before the weekend is over. Ha! Ha! You know how you look at someone and think, "What in the world were they thinking", well sometimes I look at myself and think, "What in the world were you thinking?".

Sure would be nice if I could seek comfort in a good walk or a salad. Better luck next time!

Have a "great" weekend everyone!

I Need My Mouth Stapled, Not My Ear! :-)

2008-09-16T13:48:00.000-07:00

In my heart of hearts, I am a fit and energectic woman just screaming to get out! To bad this women hasn't let the rest of my body know. I have bought all of the exercise equipment, paid "hundreds" to Weight Watchers, taken a variety of diet gimicks, subscribed to healthy magazines and even went as far as to let someone put a staple in my ear and I am still overweight. I think in all my wisdom I'm finally beginning to figure out that you have to actually do something more than pay your money or read to get into better shape. Darn it!!

I know that our body should be our temple, but if that is the case, mine seems to take on the shape of Budha!! Ha! Ha! I had Bunko last night, which I enjoy. Good food, good friends and good fun. We were talking about how hard it is to lose weight. Why is that? It should simply be mind over matter, but my "mind" won't do what it should "no matter" what I want!

My children got a parent involvement sheet that wanted us to keep a weekly log of things that we do together day-to-day that count as exercise, HA! I got to thinking about it and unless you can count walking in the kitchen to cook or walking back and forth from the laundry room as exercise, I am truly sad! I believe they mean something in addition to those things, ya think. The closest thing I do to a leg lift is getting in the bathtub. I am 35 years old and I do nothing "intentionally" for exercise. I watch each birthday pass me by and always vow that I am going to get it together, but never do. My biggest fear is waking up one day and realizing that my children are grown and my youth is passing and I have just wasted it. That I wasted having the energy to not just watch my kids play, but play with them. That I spent the years that I should have been really enjoying life to the fullest, tired and worn out. One thing that is sticking out the most is watching my beautiful baby girl growing up and taking on my self image, as well as my attitude on being fit. She deserves more!

I am tired of being tired! I have blamed it for years on my being busy, but these days, EVERYONE is busy, that's just an excuse I use.

Simply put, I need to get up off of this big "tush" following me and make changes in my life. I've started some cut-backs on food, not a diet, simply cut backs. Today I walked a mile after school, mind you I counted every single minute until I was through, but I made it. Maybe my "mind" will realize that is does "matter". I need to do this not just for myself, but for my family!
Wish me luck, I assure you I will need it! :-)

Are you growing "Quince" or "Apples"?

2008-09-14T18:42:00.000-07:00

Today was a good Sunday. Mainly because the Lord gave it to me. After all, he gives us the gift of another day and we are the ones who choose how our day is going to go, regardless of what happens in it. The devil's attack is inevitable, it's how we respond that counts.

Today's sermon was on "the fruit that we bear" and how people can tell alot about us by our fruits. My devotion this weekend was on being a "Godly Women". That was a double whammy wasn't it. As I sat through todays sermon I wondered how fruitful I was. I remember being tricked into eating a quince when I was little. It was a bitter bitter fruit, unlike the apple which is sweet. Hum! I wonder if the fruit I am bearing is "bitter" or "sweet"? I was also reminded of the verse in John,

I am the vine, you are the branches; He that abideth in me, and I in him, the same bringeth forth much fruit; for without me ye can do nothing. John 15:5

As I thought of this verse I wondered not only how I lack in being a "Godly women", but also how I lack being as fruitful as I should. My heart desires nothing more that to be a "God fearing" women, but I find myself letting life and the flesh rob me of this more than I should. When I am robbed so are the ones that I love, because my life affects their life. I allow circumstances to dictate my emotions and I allow the "hustle and bustle" of day to day to demand my thoughts. In the process of doing this, I don't think that we are as fruitful as we can be. Being fruitful is so much more than me reading a quick devotional or praying for someone, to be fruitful I need to never stop growing in Christ, not just in those instances, but at all times.

I love to grow flowers, though many don't make it. I think about the ferns that I love so much. They start out so beautiful and green. As I begin to neglect them they become dry and start to have noticeable signs of neglect. As I starve them completely of water, they simple start to break away piece by piece. I think I am alot like my ferns are at times. I know, that sounds crazy! Think about it, we get so fired up for God and we just glow in his spirit and then we slowly start slipping and not keeping ourselves fed on God's word. We too start to get dry and don't thrive like we should. We think we look okay, but others see. As we continue to neglect ourselves spiritually we simply start losing bits and pieces of ourselves much like the fern. What is so wonderful though, is that if I simply give that fern a little water, you start to slowly see the life creep right back in. God is offering us all we need to keep ourselves fed spiritually to bear fruit, beautiful fruit.

Lord help me feed on your words daily so that I might be fruitful for your kingdom. Lord help me to be the women that "YOU" would have me to be.

Going Through the "Big D" and Don't Mean "Dallas"!

2008-09-09T19:53:00.000-07:00

Well girls, I didn't come back from revival fired up tonight! The sermon tonight was on divorce. This is a subject close to my heart because I have lived it with my mom, my family and my friends. I know that divorce is not what God may have intended, but I know many "wonderful" and "God fearing" people who have gone through it. I know women who gave it their all, to the point of losing themselves and it just didn't work. I think that you have to have walked a mile in the shoes of others before you can truly say what you would do. I am a simple women with a simple mind, but I do not think that God intends you to stay in a marriage that is not a Godly marriage. I don't think that God wants you and your children to stay in a situation that is abusive mentally, physically or spiritually just so you can say that you aren't divorced. I thank God that my mom had the courage to go through divorce. The effect that it has on children was really focused on tonight. I thank my momma for having the courage to realize that sometimes there are worse things than your child "NOT" having a daddy at home and that is daddy "COMING" home.

Hold your head high momma, I love you! Beth

As for the long term affects on your children. We all want to live those Cinderella stories and my mom just wasn't that lucky. Yes, while growing up, times were hard and tennis shoes and jeans were holey, but just as my "Best Friend" recently blogged about herself, we had praying mommas. Momma prayed for me to have the husband that she never had, God sent me "HER" Cinderella story. I am "blessed"!

Sometimes I just need the dirt beat out of me!

2008-09-08T18:35:00.000-07:00

What a crazy Monday back at school. We've been out for a week, I can't seem to get my lesson plans together and on top of everything I have duty! I am sooo tired. I came home today and managed to scrap out some supper (the joys of hamburger helper and green beans) and made it to revival. Boy could I have curled up and went to sleep! I know that is a crazy title for a blog, but that's one of the things that stands out most about what the pastor said at revival tonight.

He said, "Just as the women used to go to the river and beat their dirty laundry against a rock to get the dirt out of it, many times we also must take a beating before we give up and clean ourselves of sin". I think he knows me, Ha! Ha! Why is it that I find myself beating all around the bush not wanting to admit I am wrong, that I take a beating out of life before I give in.

Another thing that he said was, " The sin we cover, God will uncover. The sin we uncover God will cover". Those are "powerful" words to me. I find myself trying to make my way the right way! Why not, right! Well, newsflash to me, it's God's way. I have taught my own children and Sunday school children and school children that, "God sees everything". Why is it that I think that I can hide my heart? It doesn't matter what I do to camouflage it, God knows. After all, you can put perfume on a skunk, but it will still stink! Okay, I'm delirious, I know, but I thought that was cute. :-)

The words, however; that stepped on my toes the most tonight was about something that I find myself doing alot. Many times I don't voice it, but once again, GOD knows! It was, "Coming to worship with unconfessed sin will completely rob you of the joy of worship. It will allow you to notice everything that you think went wrong with the service, but nothing of God's message and worship you were intended to experience. Sin affects everything!". Wow! It is through these words that I realized why many times I am not worshiping to the fullest. It isn't because someone doesn't accommodate my taste or do things like I would have, it is because of ME.

What a powerful night in worship, what powerful words! Lord, I am sorry that I have to be beaten against a rock before I finally get clean. I am like a child that their father is constantly telling, "Don't get dirty" (the dirt being sin), and I still do what I want and think that my father will not see the dirt. Dirt is dirt and their is no way to hide it.

Okay, I know I have rambled tonight, but I have just been excited about the words that it seems that God has sent especially for me. I think HE knows me or something! Have a "great" week!

I Hear You Lord, Loud and Clear!

2008-09-07T11:04:00.000-07:00

What a day, what a day! God showed up and showed out in my heart today. It was one of those Sundays where God convicted you about something from the time you walked in the door. It started out in Sunday school. Our lesson was on forgiveness. One of the key verses was:

"Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity." Collossians 3:12-14

I really needed this verse. I find myself not wanting to forgive others that I think have wronged me. I get mad at the fact that people count on me to forgive them. I get mad that when I forgive someone they don't seem to appreciate it and I get mad at them again. This morning I set and pondered, "Beth, just who in the world do you think you are?". With all that God has forgiven me for in my life and continues to forgive me for daily, who am I to walk around prideful wanting others to make me happy, comfortable and never wrong against me. I felt God telling me, "People make mistakes Beth and news flash, so do you". Walking a Christian walk isn't going to be a bed of roses and I know this in my heart, but I still find myself straying. Lord this morning you have convicted me strongly about being responsible for "my" actions. I have said a million times that I cannot control what others do, but I CAN control what I do and how I react. During the message today the visiting pastor made the statement, "The world has to see something diferent in us as Christians. If all we do is go to church, but the world doesn't see anything different in us then all we've done is simply go to church. You cannot walk with a Holy God and live an unholy life." What powerful words he spoke! I have failed lately to walk that Godly walk. Don't get me wrong, I turn to God daily, but do those closest to me see God in me. You see, for me it is really easy to let those who aren't close see God in us. Whether it be an encouraging word, praying for or with someone or whatever it may be. But the true me, is how I am with those closest to me. I fear lately that has been an ugly sight. The pastor made another statement that said, "Why are children living in sin and straying. Because their parents are!". That popped me right upside the head as well. I fuss at my children for raising their voices or tearing each other down with their words. Lord I fear they learned it from the best, me! Why do they lose their temper, because they see me doing it and not having patience. Why do they tear at each other with their words. Lord they have heard me tear others down with my words. I know what I am doing is wrong and I still let those words leave my mouth.

I have had a humbling day, but am fired up. God has revealed himself to me today in a mighty way and has forced me to look at myself. I am falling short. I must continue to forgive others, because I have been forgiven. It is as simple as that. I need to shut my mouth and let God lead. It doesn't matter how many times someone has hurt or wronged me, as a Christian I must take up the cross and press on and forgive. I am falling short outside of church. It is in the times when I let my guard down with those closest to me that the true me is seen. Lord I pray that I bind my tongue in my mouth and not speak words that tear others down. That I can be the same person to my family and friends, that I can so easily be to others. And Lord lastly, but definately not least. I pray that I can be a better example for my children. Lord I know that I won't be able to get back even the second that just past. If you took me home today, did I truly provide for my children. I feed them, cloth them and even take them places that are fun and spend time with them. But am I leading them in your truth? Am I living your truth as an example for them. How short I fall, but today "revival" has not just taken place at church, but in my heart. I was sooo full when I left church that I couldn't wait to get on this computer and share what He had done for me today. Anybody can talk the talk, but Lord help me to also walk the walk, YOUR WALK!

Take it easy Gustav!

2008-08-31T14:04:00.000-07:00

Another Sunday morning has rolled around and I am thankful for another week. It has been a rough week for many reasons, but as I watch Louisiana tags rolling down the road, my problems seem so small. We started taking in dogs and cats at the vet clinic yesterday and have taken in many more today. The look of uncertainty on peoples faces is heart wrenching. I know pets are pets, but many left with not alot more with them than their pets. It is hard for them to part with them even though they know we will take care of them. God has a way of showing us through others that we should quit wollering in ourselves and our problems, by showing us people who truly have problems. I have to pause today and ask God to forgive me for getting so caught up in my "bad" week and pray for those who are leaving all of their possessions and homes behind and being separated from their families. I think of those who have no or limited funds in their pockets, but have wide eyed babies looking at them wondering where they will stay tonight and saying that they are hungry. It has been in the storms of my life that I have learned the most. Lord, thank you for humbling me on this Sunday afternoon, if you can use me in the midst of this storm, Lord use me!

Happy Birthday Brother...

2008-08-27T17:30:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow is August 28th, I will go over this date on the calendar with my class tomorrow during math, we will write it many times on our schoolwork, I will date papers with it that I have to turn in, I will most likely write it on a check and I probably even have a bill due on this date, but this is more than another day, this was my brother Jason's birthday. Tomorrow would have been his 32nd birthday. It has been 14 years since I have heard his deep raspy voice, since I have touched his hand, since I have seen him in person and not just had to settle for a memory. It seems sometimes as if the world simply swallowed up the hole that was left the day he died. Even in my life, the pain got a little easier every day and life simply went on. At times I feel guilty for not, as I say, "shutting down" on his birthday and the day that he died, but I don't think that is what God wants me to do. I couldn't help tonight reading my devotional for tomorrow's date, August 28th. The title was "Rerouted Dreams", it spoke of life simply not going as we might have anticipated or fulfilled in the way that we would have seen fit. How well this applies to my situation. Fourteen years ago, in many ways, my dreams were rerouted. I never intended on losing my only sibling to suicide, but friends, even in our darkest hours God is in control and God has a plan. Though I lost a prize posession, my only brother, God gave me many gifts of life through his death. Because of these "rerouted dreams" my journey in life changed it's course forever and I knew that God's way was the only way. I rejoice that God gave him to me for as long as he did, I could have never known him. So I celebrate August 28th for the years I was allowed to know him. Happy Birthday Baby Brother, love your sister, Beth

Trusting in the Invisible

2008-08-26T05:13:00.000-07:00

As I rush through another morning I pause to read my devotional and my verse is

Faith is the reality of what is hoped for, the proof of what is not seen
(Hebrews 11:1)

God impressed upon me that I should make sure that I read this verse this morning and it will be interesting to see how the day unfolds and God applies it to my life. You know, God is an everpresent peace in my life that I rely on daily. I turn to him with problems and situations that life throws my way and simply have to have faith that he will take care of me in his way and most importantly in his time. I don't know why my trust swaggers at times, in heart of hearts I know that there is nothing that he can't or doesn't want to handle for and with me. As I begin this day, I place it in his hands and pray that I follow his will. He's never let me down with anything I've handed him, truly handed him. Here's my day Lord, lead the way!

Just Another Manic Monday...

2008-08-25T21:06:00.000-07:00

I am easily reminded of a song that I once danced around to in my "parachute pants" with the lyrics, "Just another manic Monday". Those of you around my age know what song I'm talking about. (You know about those parachute pants too, just admit it!) Well Mondays are just that, "Manic"! You would think that when you are coming off of a weekend that you would be refueled and energized, but somehow you can't seem to get yourself out of bed and your running on a half of a tank. After waking up late with only about 45 minutes to get dressed your son announces that he has a book that he was suppose to have read this weeked and that he was going to be tested on it today, you realize that you have nothing that is already ironed, so your off to the ironing board, your daughter announces at the last minute that you need to straighten her hair (mind you she's been watching cartoons for the last 20 minutes), then your son announces that you still had to put the pizza rolls for his lunch in the oven, so snatch and grab and away I go. It is amazing that God allows us moms to get 2 hours worth of work into a mear 45 minutes. As I sit here tonight with my family fast asleep, I must thank God for this "Manic Monday", for my children that keep me on my toes and busy, for the job that is demanding and tiresome, but fullfilling and for the friends that I am allowed to share it all with! Thank you Lord!

19 Years Together and He's Still Got It!

2008-08-24T13:51:00.000-07:00

Do you ever just catch yourself looking at your husband and wondering, "What did I do to deserve you?". You catch a glimpse of him out of the corner of your eye or you simply watch him doing something that you see him do every day, but your heart still races like it did when you were in high school. Nineteen years we've been together and I still do. Lately I have found myself just staring at Pat and thanking God for sending him to me. You know, when we were younger "sexy" simply meant a nice hiny, good smelling cologne, a gentlemen etc. I just have to tell you there is nothing sexier to me than a man who will spend time with his children and my husband always has time for his children. He will load them up in a heart beat and take them off for the day, whether it be hunting, fishing etc. He always has time for our babies. Another thing that is sexy is a man who is there for his wife. Pat is my safe place to land. In those deep dark times when I am worried, scared or I feel like the world is closing in, it is in his arms that I find comfort. There is nothing that I can't turn to him with. He is my security. I find God bringing us closer daily through situations that life brings our way. Just this weekend I was upset over a situation and he was able to sit back and see it through my eyes. I find us trying to understand each other during times of disagreement, instead of standing off and letting stubborn pride come between us. We laugh together, cry together, budget money together, raise our babies together, pray together, grow together and the list goes on. The important word is that we do it all "TOGETHER". My best friend and I were talking recently about our husbands and how we enjoy spending time with them and how blessed we were to have the marriages that we have. I love the fact that we can get together and "giggle" and "laugh" with each other about them like we were still dating them and how we truly enjoy them. I believe God sent Pat specifically for me. He completes me! As for the hiny, cologne and gentlemen, well girls, in my eyes he's got that too! And the best part of it all is that he's mine and he loves me unconditionally! Have a "great" week girls!

Sticker Shock....

2008-08-19T19:12:00.000-07:00

Oh dear me, it started out as my baby girl signing up to play in the band. Harmless, right? Well then there is the band meeting, the presentation, the price, the payment plan and my head starts spinning! Everything starts getting blurry and then it happens, I sign on the dotted line. It was a complete conspiracy! I shant even say how much one little silver flute cost me, but I am sure somewhere I had to sign over rights to my first grandchild. From the mouth of my best friend, "This is just the first of many". I remember her saying the same thing about a pageant dress not to long ago. However; you can't take it with you! The look of joy on my child's face when she got that little black case containing that shiny silver flute, no monthly payment can pay for. Lord thank you for giving me the means to not only provide necessities for my babies, but to allow them to do the not so necessary things that mean so much to them! :-)

Laughter is the Best Medicine!

2008-08-18T21:37:00.000-07:00

Okay, we all know I've fretted about Bunko at my house, being sick and getting prepared for it. Well tonight was the night and it was just what the doctor ordered. I laughed so much that I thought I would wet my pants. I am sooo thankful for every woman that was in the room with me tonight. Everyone brings something special to the room and I had an absolute "blast"! I prepared everyone for such horrible Bunko prizes, that the "cheesy" ones I bought was sure to thrill them. A homecooked meal, good friends and lots of laughter! Good food for the soul! Thank you Lord for bringing good and best friends to my life! People who love me for who I am!

PS I think I'm getting the hang of the 3rd grade and I'm loving it! :-) It's really late girls, have a blessed Tuesday.

His Grace Covers Me

2008-08-17T14:02:00.000-07:00

Well, I got off to a rough start today. Felt rotten this morning and missed church. Pat did nursery without me, of course with a fill-in sidekick. Today was a special Sunday, a really good friend of mine's child got baptized this morning. I have watched this child grow over the years and am so proud to see her make the decision to accept Jesus Christ as her Lord and Savior. Our babies are growing up right before our eyes, it was just yesterday that she was in the nursery with my Thomas every Sunday morning across from my Sunday School class and her mom was trying to get her potty trained. Where does the time go! It just makes you realize how important it is to live as examples before my own babies. I spent all day cleaning up at a "snails pace", but got a little accomplished. I found myself wishing all day that I had a substitute for the Sunday night Discipleship class that I teach. I literally drug myself to church and sat down to put in my time and then we sang a song with the words, "He covers me", referring to God's grace. That's when I realized that it was no mistake that I was there and I felt the warmth of God's love surround me. Lord thank you for pursuing me at all times! I know I've rambled tonight, but it's a "random thought" kinda' night! Have a "great" week girls!

Feel Like Death, but My Nails Look Good!

2008-08-16T14:48:00.000-07:00

Went to some sort of "Extreme Impact" ministry with Pat and Thomas last night in Brookhaven, new I wasn't feeling well, but it was just one of those times as a momma and wife where you tell yourself, even though you want to crawl in the bed and go to sleep, go spend some time with your family. And then there was this morning! I woke up and thought I was having a near death experience. I feel like I am coming down with the flu, so I went and got me a shot, picked myself up by the boot straps and headed to Brookhaven to get Bunko gifts. Got everything accomplished with the gifts, not sure how good the gifts are and my house is going to be a wreck on Monday, but I'm sure my friends will love me through "cheesy" gifts and a dirty house. That's the good thing about true friends! Did I tell ya, on top of everything, I got trapped in a typhoon in Wal-Mart and decided to kill time by getting my nails done. They're always soooo pretty, but everytime I get them done I say that I will never do it again. Oh well, I feel like death, but my nails look good. Now I'm home in my "sloppy clothes" and going to self medicate myself with some tv, a bag of chips and a coke. God is good even in the stinky times! Thank you Lord for allowing me to have today!

Oh My Gosh! How easy was that!

2008-08-15T13:03:00.000-07:00

I can't believe getting this started was soooo easy! I saw my best friends page and was so impressed that I thought I had to try it. I am such an "open book" for those who know me, that this will surely be pure therapy for my soul. This has been an action packed week in 3rd grade. (My first year teaching it for those who don't know me, I've been in Kindergarten for 10 yrs). I am going to absolutely love it, but I must admit that I am dragging my tail behind me! That's alot of dragging girls! Alot to do this weekend and not enough time to do it. My favorite verse is Psalms 46:10, "Be Still and Know that I am Lord". Lord help me to be still in the midst of all of life's hustle and bustle and turn to you for direction. Help me to not get so caught up in life that I don't notice the little "winks" and blessings that you give me daily. Life is so easily taken for granted!

On a mom's note, I am having a hard time excepting that my children are both officially out of the Lower Elementary. It is so hard to believe that my Thomas is in 3rd grade this year and that my Baleigh is in 5th. One more year until Junior High, I'm gonna start praying know. My babies are growing up and I don't know where the time has gone. As a mom you sit down and realize, "Oh my gosh! Did I really live yesterday to the fullest and enjoy my children like I should have. Was my temper too quick, was my voice to loud, did I put one of them off when they needed my attention, was I a Godly example and did they see God in any of my actions?" I guess we moms just do the best that we can and pray daily for guidance. See, I told you this would be therapy for me! Have a "great" weekend everyone and try and slow down and notice the small stuff. Beth