Once again I have stepped on the scale and see a number that tells me that I am as heavy as I have ever been. Why is it soooo hard? Why is it that I truly "long" for food? It's sad to fight a battle within yourself daily and lose! I wake up thinking about breakfast. When I travel I am instantly planning the best place to eat in the area. Just plain sad! As I do this new marriage study, I realize just how much I let my self esteem cause troubles in my life and I simply find myself mad alot for no apparent reason. I am 36 years old and I am already very aware of how much of my life I have allowed to pass me by simply "not feeling good"! I ache, hurt and am lethargic most of the time. I try and find reasons for all of these aches and pains and simply put, my body is just "sick and tired" of hauling around all of this weight. Is it really worth it? Immediately it seems so when I want to eat, in the long run, definately not!
So once again I am going to try and take "baby steps" at being healthier, with the hope that this time I may learn to walk. It's bad, this summer I've been invited on a short trip to the beach with friends and we are planning a trip to Disney next November and one of the things that keeps entering my mind is, I will give out trying to walk on the sand, what in tarnation will I wear and I am going to be bigger than everyone else! Once again, sad!
Today I am going to try to give up my sodas and commit to doing some type of exercise 3 times a week. I just have to get it through my thick head that there will never "BE" time, I have to "MAKE" time! Oh well, wish me luck! I assure you I will need it! This is just one of many failed attempts, maybe this could be the one something actually changes. Who knows, but I have to try! Thanks for listening to my daily ramblings! Beth :)
2 comments:
I love you!
I love you, too!!! And believe me... I feel ya, sista!!! I walk the track during the week. That's my "me time" and it's also good for me! :)
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