It's 1:30 in the morning and I have complete insomnia despite Tylenol PM and suspected flu! Have you ever had one of those nights where your body so desperately wants to rest, but your mind simply refuses to quit turning? (Of course you have, your women.) I started a new couples bible study this past week at church and was working through my lessons earlier tonight and it discussed acknowledging past choices that you have made that affect your marriage negatively now. I thought about this and most of my really "ugly skeletons" have long since been laid at the feet of my Heavenly Father and are covered, therefore do not hinder my marriage. The one bad choice that "I chose" and continued to choose that negatively affects my marriage is the choice to live unhealthy, which results in poor self image, which results in unhappiness at times and just an overall feeling of discontentment. I say "I choose" to live unhealthy because my study emphasizes on owning your choices and not blaming them on anything or anyone. This made me really sit back and think about my life. I just had this conversation with my best friend. We were discussing the fact that the only person that controls our happiness is ourselves! That's powerful. This made me start thinking about regrets that we have and why we don't choose to live our lives, but simply live in our lives! For instance, I was invited to go to the coast in June for four days this summer with some friends. I have saved for this trip since August and every part of my body is trying to talk myself out of it. Why? One of these friends has battled cancer, we are simply not guaranteed these opportunities again once they pass, and still I try and talk myself out of it. I almost talked myself out of a trip to New York once with my best friend Jill, I gave myself every reason why I shouldn't go, but did. I thank God everyday for giving us that experience not only together, but together with our girls! Memories that will never go away! I know I'm rambling, but I truly think the devil tells us moms, wives and daughters that we aren't worth the time, therefore we end up with regrets, whether it be another year and 20 more lbs, a missed trip with friends, a splurge on a pedicure, a bad make-over from your daughter or a hunting trip with your son (itchy and hot as it may be). And then if that isn't bad enough, I tend to blame others and circumstances as to why I didn't "Seize the Moment" and am left with regrets! We simply don't think we are worth taking the time and that there we will always be a "next time" and the fact is there may not be.
If we would only live each day as if it were our last. Hmmm!
Night guys! Thanks for listening! :) Beth
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