Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Thanks Easter Bunny! Wasn't Expecting It that...

Had a "great" Easter round our house, but little did I know what Easter would truly bring to me. As my previous post stated, I took part in a ceremony at church, where we were given the opportunity to nail "battles" to the cross. I talked about having left (attempted to leave that is!) my battle with weight on the cross on several occasions in this same type of
ceremony, only to pick it back up.
Well God works in mysterious ways. I prayed really hard that night and days after, that this would be the time I had truly turned it over to God, but have you ever had one of those times where you knew God heard, but you didn't think he was answering? Well, that's called Beth's impatience and God's timing! I was sitting down 2 nights ago and downloaded a "passle" of pictures that I had stock piled on memory cards. THERE IT WAS!! Easter, I really wanted to get pictures of my grandmother that has been having health problems and my Aunt took my camera and snapped some shots of her, which happened to be sitting right next to me! There I sat looking at the picture of my sweet grandmother and there I was next to her, I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW THE PERSON I WAS LOOKING AT! How can a person that feels one way inside look so different on the outside. Well I was appalled to say the least, but didn't know what to do with my emotions. This is when I usually turn to what I've obviously made the love of my life, food!, but instead, of "ALL things! I felt lead to once again investigate WW, but online this time. I should truly own stock in WW after all my failed attempts, but I felt lead, so I joined WW online. Once again, went to bed and prayed. Didn't feel totally convicted "hook, line, and sinker", but I was following what I felt I was supposed to do. Got up Monday, another day, went into my closet and NOTHING fit!! It was as if some cruel "devil" fairy came in overnight and sabotaged me! I put on, slung off into the floor, I put on, slung off into the floor!
God had spoken!!
I was mad, not at life, somebody, the food, and so on, so on.....
I was mad at the addiction and what it was stealing from me!!
I would say to make a long story short, but being that I've "babbled" for so long I think it's too late for that! Lol! I am learning to navigate WW online and actually really like it. I'm going to weigh in on Friday mornings and going to spend alot of time in HIS word for his revelations for me!
I used to blog on another blog just for weight, but the more I thought about it, this addiction is part of me and what better way to deal with it than to have friends praying me through!
Wish me luck, in his strength I can do this! Only in his strength!

Thursday, April 1, 2010

The Blood Was Shed for Sins, not Construction Paper

Well it is that time of the year! Spring has sprung! There is just something about the new beauty that surrounds you this time of the year that gives me a new found optimism that you can conquer the world. We had a "wonderful" service last night at FBC Bude that I have taken part in several times. What's funny, is that though I have participated in it several times it is always a different experience. We had our cross ceremony where we literally wrote our burdens on a construction paper heart and nailed them on the cross that was symbolic of the cross that our Savior died on all those many years ago. I joked with friends that I needed a piece of loose leaf paper to write my burdens down on, but jokingly said that I had to take my burdens to him daily or they would surely be too much to bear alone.
As I sat and prayed last night about what I would write down, I realized that one of my major struggles or burdens that I wanted to write down, I had written down two prior times during this very same ceremony, yet walked away from the cross with the burden in tow. Obviously the only thing I laid at the cross was a piece of red construction paper.
Believers, we either trust him with our burdens, FULLY trust him or we don't. Walking away with this burden that I claimed to lay down on two prior occasions means that obviously I don't think he is a big enough GOD to handle it. That is so far from what I profess to believe, but sometimes you have to stop and think, "Am I living what I say I believe?" Most everyone loves the verse, "I can do all things through Christ that strengthens me", but how many people live with a sense of discord, how many have no self confidence and don't believe they can accomplish their goals no matter how big or small.
Many may think these are random thoughts, well I guess they really are, but that's what blogging is all about, but as you look around and see the beauty that spring brings, as you feel the warmth of the SUN sent straight from the SON, we need to remember that a God that is big enough to literally speak everything into creation, a God that is interested enough in us to divinely make everything from our children to the pesky pollen particles in the air, is a God that is big enough to take our burdens to and leave them.
In our flesh we can't handle it, but never fool ourselves that HE can't or that it's insignificant enough for HIM to want to......
Hmmmm! Thoughts to ponder! Maybe it is HIS timing that we struggle with the most. Maybe we assume the worst because he doesn't answer when WE think HE should.
Going to pray for guidance, strength and surrender, hoping that this time I believe that Jesus died for my sins and not simply construction paper hearts.

Saturday, November 14, 2009

Just a Momma Hanging on for Dear Life!!

As a Momma, you have those times periodically where it becomes all to apparent that your babies are growing up and there is absolutely nothing that you can do about it! Don't get me wrong, it is such a blessing watching them grow, but in the same sense I feel like I am slowly loosing my grasp on them.
Within the last 2 weeks both of my sweet babies have had a birthday! My Baleigh Bug has turned 12 years old and Thomas Patrick turned 10 this past week.
I know, I know, you must be thinking that I need to get a grip and they are "still" little, but oh how it seems like I just brought them home.
Baleigh came home the other day and said that she wanted to be in the Middle School pageant in January. In her words, "I want to wear a poofie dress Momma.", so this morning I went out to Brookhaven to watch AnnaBugs play soccer and then my mom met me at the dress rental shop with Baleigh. I made it there before them and all of a sudden I looked up through those big glass store windows and see this beautiful young lady walking by to come in with a smile across her face that was contagious. She had her cute little jeans on, hair in a top knot, big hoop earrings, trendy sneakers. She was tall, all legs and arms. It was at that point I realized that that big girl belonged to me!! That 5lb bundle of pure "JOY" is now a young lady. Of course, the beautiful dress that she found for the pageant didn't help with this trial I was going through one bit!! Sparkles and "poof', my Tomboy was absolutely beautiful.
Do you ever just get overwhelmed at the "blessings" that you have been given? Well when I look at these two children that God has entrusted me with, I am completely overwhelmed at the blessings Pat and I have been given through them. Just want to savor every minute because I am becoming ever so aware that they will need me less and less. We spend our time raising them to be independent, but I must say it "stings" ever so slightly as they come into their independence. Just thoughts from a Momma....

Saturday, September 26, 2009

Good Times, Big Blessings!

Sometimes you can get soooo caught up in life that you don't even stop to enjoy it! You know, stop and spell the roses kinda thing.
Well this weekend I got to stop and smell the roses and it was such a sweet smell!
Friday me, Jill and Christy took off and went to New Orleans for a night and a day. We left out around 3:30 on Friday. Had a good time just talking and sharing on the way up there. We checked into the Westin right on the river and it was "wonderful"! It was like being in a spa! We then struck out and went to a new Jazz restaurant called Mulates where the atmosphere was "great" and the food was to die for. We then took a taxi into the French Quarter and enjoyed taking in the sights, especially loved looking at all the old buildings and trying to imagine the history of them all. You could just sit and "people watch" forever there. After spending the night we got up this morning and enjoyed breakfast, a carriage ride and then on to some window shopping in the French Market. We headed out around 3:00 or so and ended a short but awesome trip with a stop by Middendorfs. It's good for us women to just "intentionally" stop every once in a while and recharge. Got home and was soooo tired, but headed to my Aunt Linda's camp with alot of family and friends and it was a perfect end to a great day. Enjoyed just hanging out and talking with the family.
Life is busy and it's very easy to get soooo caught up in it that you don't even enjoy it. I so enjoyed this weekend with people I love so much! Good times, big blessings!

Happy Birthday Momma, Aunt Linda and Jill!

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

A Flea in My Pantyhose!

Well tonight is Wednesday night. I had missed a couple of the lessons in the last Bible study that I was in and didn't complete it. Do you ever get aggravated, let's be honest, when God's conviction just nags at you like a FLEA IN YOUR PANTYHOSE! Well he doesn't fall down on his job, but oh how I fall short. Well, missing 1/2 of the last Bible study really bothered me and it was nothing more that God convicting me of that! Back in the saddle again tonight though and what a wonderful lesson!
Started taking Beth Moore's "A Beautiful Mind" and the main point I got of tonight was
Whoa Nelly! She acts like she knows me or something! lol But seriously, what she was talking about is how we get burned one or two times in a situation and then we expect that same result or reaction every time, so we never do get anything different out of life and experiences. How many times do we fail at something or have someone disapprove of something and instead of continuing to try we just tuck tail and run! She talked about FEAR.
1. Fear of the Past, that because of what has happened or hurt us in the past, that we cheat our self out of the future because we won't try again. That we don't give others a chance to change and react to us differently. If we are in God's will, it is our responsibility to continue to try time and time again.
2. Fear of Saying Yes, we are so afraid of not being the "best" at something from the very start, that we won't try something because of our PRIDE and INSECURITIES and not wanting to look bad or foolish or fail in front of someone else.
3. Fear of Saying No, being able to learn the difference in when it's time to say yes and when it's time to say no. We CANNOT do a 1000 things at once to glorify God! Pick and choose.

The last thing that I thought was powerful tonight is that she said that women claim responsibility and investment in WAY more that they are actually responsible and have an investment in. I interpreted that into times that I get all upset and bothered about something that I truly don't "HAVE A DOG IN THAT RACE" with! I think it is a women's nature to take things personal, but many things that I let get me upset doesn't even have a whole lot to do with me. lol :D

I just thought it was an "awesome" night and truly gave me alot to think about in my life! We claim each day as a blessing from God, do we waste it by not stepping out in faith because of what has happened in the past? The enemy, which can come in the form of many things (people, food, situations etc.) tries to get you to quit, by reminding you of your past failures and things that happened before.
What a wonderful message I would have missed tonight, confirmation that God wanted me in fellowship with him tonight! Thank you Lord for pursuing me when many times I seem to be running from you! Hope all have a "blessed" rest of the week and weekend!

Monday, August 10, 2009

Give As Freely As You Have Recieved!

"Give as freely as you have recieved!" Matthew 10:8
Well, have you ever had one of those moments where you were trying to teach someone else something and the Good Lord decided that the lesson is for you! Woo Wee! Tonight was one of those nights. As Pat and I sat at the bar and was doing a nightly devotional with the kids, it was obvious that the lesson was for me much more than the kids. The devotion tonight basically asked if you felt like some people were ugly to you for no apparent reason, do you feel like you can't do anything right, do you feel like people are just against you at times? In a nutshell, do you carry a chip on your shoulder at times. Oh mercy, I knew I was in for it then. The devotion then went on to read, what have you done for others to expect something good in return? Hmmm! It went on to say that alot of times all we can focus on is how others don't make us happy, make us feel good, or do things that we agree with or benefit from. It basically said that we should try not focusing on these things and simply put, get out there and start doing good things ourselves for no reason and it is His promise that we will in turn receive. I think I've heard this before, I think it means, IT'S NOT ABOUT ME! lol What a good message for the beginning of a new school and church year! I think for me he wants me to react in a positive way, when people expect me to get mad. That he wants me to close my eyes to all the negative things that I tend to focus on with people and situations and notice the positive. And if I'm really honest, I would want people to focus on my positive and not on my srew-ups. (Goodness knows I have plenty! lol) He has opened my eyes tonight to the fact that I shouldn't expect from others anything more than I am willing to give them!! That phrase in itself is sooo powerful! Well, I'm definitely not perfect and by all means a work in progress, but via the Big Man, I am going to try to concentrate alot more on giving and not focusing quite so much on receiving. Gonna try and be a little better Christian, Momma, Wife, Daughter and Friend! Again, hmmmm!
Gotta love trying to teach your children a new lesson! lol, lol, lol, lol :D

Sunday, August 2, 2009

The End is Here...

Well, it is here! It is officially the end of my summer vacation.
It doesn't even seem like summer any more. Well the heat has definitely let us know it is summer, but I have memories of June and July lasting for eternity. I think it is simply a sign of getting older. Those lengthy months have turned into wild and crazy weeks of nonstop doctors checkups and running, running, running! lol :D
I have also spent the summer washing clothes. It is as if it has been one nonstop load that never quite gets done.....
Oh well, once again, just some more of the facts of life.
You see, even on a day that has elements in it you could have lived without such as the mess and being sick, if you look closely you can see that the blessings far outweighed the wrinkles!!
It is truly a day to rejoice!
I got to attend a baby dedication service this morning where seven sets of parents stood before the church promising to raise their children in a way that was pleasing to God. This just warms your heart that these parents acknowledged that our children are simply "on loaner" from our Heavenly Father and we can't be successful without him holding the reigns. It is also a reminder of days that weren't so long ago, where I stood before the congregation and promised to do the same. Sitting back, it gives me a minute to reflect on how well I am doing keeping the promise that I made myself with my babies. I then got to listen to my baby girl sing special music. Another gift that God has blessed me with to remind me just how much he loves us. And then as I got home and was dismayed at not feeling well and the mess that sat before, I checked Facebook and read that FBC has another "Godfilled" Sunday morning and night! and that God was setting fires in the hearts of his people! We had a wonderful Sunday morning last Sunday that was filled with baptisms, people walking the aisle and families joining. Today we have reports of youth and children being baptized and tonight of our youth reporting on their trip to Missionfuge. I hate I wasn't there, but it just makes you want to jump up and scream and rejoice!! God is truly good! It is such a wonderful feeling to see him at work and igniting fires in the heart of his people, ESPECIALLY in our youth! I am like Jill, I just hope that we can stand behind them and keep them on fire and what better way for us to do this than by keeping our fire burning and leading by example. Well, I can't think of a better way to end a summer than with the blessings that God has given me today. Thank you Lord for opening my eyes to the blessings that this day has brought and not getting caught up in the little things that don't matter.