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Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Thanks Easter Bunny! Wasn't Expecting It that...

Had a "great" Easter round our house, but little did I know what Easter would truly bring to me. As my previous post stated, I took part in a ceremony at church, where we were given the opportunity to nail "battles" to the cross. I talked about having left (attempted to leave that is!) my battle with weight on the cross on several occasions in this same type of
ceremony, only to pick it back up.
Well God works in mysterious ways. I prayed really hard that night and days after, that this would be the time I had truly turned it over to God, but have you ever had one of those times where you knew God heard, but you didn't think he was answering? Well, that's called Beth's impatience and God's timing! I was sitting down 2 nights ago and downloaded a "passle" of pictures that I had stock piled on memory cards. THERE IT WAS!! Easter, I really wanted to get pictures of my grandmother that has been having health problems and my Aunt took my camera and snapped some shots of her, which happened to be sitting right next to me! There I sat looking at the picture of my sweet grandmother and there I was next to her, I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW THE PERSON I WAS LOOKING AT! How can a person that feels one way inside look so different on the outside. Well I was appalled to say the least, but didn't know what to do with my emotions. This is when I usually turn to what I've obviously made the love of my life, food!, but instead, of "ALL things! I felt lead to once again investigate WW, but online this time. I should truly own stock in WW after all my failed attempts, but I felt lead, so I joined WW online. Once again, went to bed and prayed. Didn't feel totally convicted "hook, line, and sinker", but I was following what I felt I was supposed to do. Got up Monday, another day, went into my closet and NOTHING fit!! It was as if some cruel "devil" fairy came in overnight and sabotaged me! I put on, slung off into the floor, I put on, slung off into the floor!
God had spoken!!
I was mad, not at life, somebody, the food, and so on, so on.....
I was mad at the addiction and what it was stealing from me!!
I would say to make a long story short, but being that I've "babbled" for so long I think it's too late for that! Lol! I am learning to navigate WW online and actually really like it. I'm going to weigh in on Friday mornings and going to spend alot of time in HIS word for his revelations for me!
I used to blog on another blog just for weight, but the more I thought about it, this addiction is part of me and what better way to deal with it than to have friends praying me through!
Wish me luck, in his strength I can do this! Only in his strength!

Thursday, April 1, 2010

The Blood Was Shed for Sins, not Construction Paper

Well it is that time of the year! Spring has sprung! There is just something about the new beauty that surrounds you this time of the year that gives me a new found optimism that you can conquer the world. We had a "wonderful" service last night at FBC Bude that I have taken part in several times. What's funny, is that though I have participated in it several times it is always a different experience. We had our cross ceremony where we literally wrote our burdens on a construction paper heart and nailed them on the cross that was symbolic of the cross that our Savior died on all those many years ago. I joked with friends that I needed a piece of loose leaf paper to write my burdens down on, but jokingly said that I had to take my burdens to him daily or they would surely be too much to bear alone.
As I sat and prayed last night about what I would write down, I realized that one of my major struggles or burdens that I wanted to write down, I had written down two prior times during this very same ceremony, yet walked away from the cross with the burden in tow. Obviously the only thing I laid at the cross was a piece of red construction paper.
Believers, we either trust him with our burdens, FULLY trust him or we don't. Walking away with this burden that I claimed to lay down on two prior occasions means that obviously I don't think he is a big enough GOD to handle it. That is so far from what I profess to believe, but sometimes you have to stop and think, "Am I living what I say I believe?" Most everyone loves the verse, "I can do all things through Christ that strengthens me", but how many people live with a sense of discord, how many have no self confidence and don't believe they can accomplish their goals no matter how big or small.
Many may think these are random thoughts, well I guess they really are, but that's what blogging is all about, but as you look around and see the beauty that spring brings, as you feel the warmth of the SUN sent straight from the SON, we need to remember that a God that is big enough to literally speak everything into creation, a God that is interested enough in us to divinely make everything from our children to the pesky pollen particles in the air, is a God that is big enough to take our burdens to and leave them.
In our flesh we can't handle it, but never fool ourselves that HE can't or that it's insignificant enough for HIM to want to......
Hmmmm! Thoughts to ponder! Maybe it is HIS timing that we struggle with the most. Maybe we assume the worst because he doesn't answer when WE think HE should.
Going to pray for guidance, strength and surrender, hoping that this time I believe that Jesus died for my sins and not simply construction paper hearts.