Just a Momma Hanging on for Dear Life!!

As a Momma, you have those times periodically where it becomes all to apparent that your babies are growing up and there is absolutely nothing that you can do about it! Don't get me wrong, it is such a blessing watching them grow, but in the same sense I feel like I am slowly loosing my grasp on them.

Within the last 2 weeks both of my sweet babies have had a birthday! My Baleigh Bug has turned 12 years old and Thomas Patrick turned 10 this past week.

I know, I know, you must be thinking that I need to get a grip and they are "still" little, but oh how it seems like I just brought them home.

Baleigh came home the other day and said that she wanted to be in the Middle School pageant in January. In her words, "I want to wear a poofie dress Momma.", so this morning I went out to Brookhaven to watch AnnaBugs play soccer and then my mom met me at the dress rental shop with Baleigh. I made it there before them and all of a sudden I looked up through those big glass store windows and see this beautiful young lady walking by to come in with a smile across her face that was contagious. She had her cute little jeans on, hair in a top knot, big hoop earrings, trendy sneakers. She was tall, all legs and arms. It was at that point I realized that that big girl belonged to me!! That 5lb bundle of pure "JOY" is now a young lady. Of course, the beautiful dress that she found for the pageant didn't help with this trial I was going through one bit!! Sparkles and "poof', my Tomboy was absolutely beautiful.

Do you ever just get overwhelmed at the "blessings" that you have been given? Well when I look at these two children that God has entrusted me with, I am completely overwhelmed at the blessings Pat and I have been given through them. Just want to savor every minute because I am becoming ever so aware that they will need me less and less. We spend our time raising them to be independent, but I must say it "stings" ever so slightly as they come into their independence. Just thoughts from a Momma....

Good Times, Big Blessings!

Sometimes you can get soooo caught up in life that you don't even stop to enjoy it! You know, stop and spell the roses kinda thing.
Well this weekend I got to stop and smell the roses and it was such a sweet smell!
Friday me, Jill and Christy took off and went to New Orleans for a night and a day. We left out around 3:30 on Friday. Had a good time just talking and sharing on the way up there. We checked into the Westin right on the river and it was "wonderful"! It was like being in a spa! We then struck out and went to a new Jazz restaurant called Mulates where the atmosphere was "great" and the food was to die for. We then took a taxi into the French Quarter and enjoyed taking in the sights, especially loved looking at all the old buildings and trying to imagine the history of them all. You could just sit and "people watch" forever there. After spending the night we got up this morning and enjoyed breakfast, a carriage ride and then on to some window shopping in the French Market. We headed out around 3:00 or so and ended a short but awesome trip with a stop by Middendorfs. It's good for us women to just "intentionally" stop every once in a while and recharge. Got home and was soooo tired, but headed to my Aunt Linda's camp with alot of family and friends and it was a perfect end to a great day. Enjoyed just hanging out and talking with the family.
Life is busy and it's very easy to get soooo caught up in it that you don't even enjoy it. I so enjoyed this weekend with people I love so much! Good times, big blessings!

Happy Birthday Momma, Aunt Linda and Jill!

A Flea in My Pantyhose!

Well tonight is Wednesday night. I had missed a couple of the lessons in the last Bible study that I was in and didn't complete it. Do you ever get aggravated, let's be honest, when God's conviction just nags at you like a FLEA IN YOUR PANTYHOSE! Well he doesn't fall down on his job, but oh how I fall short. Well, missing 1/2 of the last Bible study really bothered me and it was nothing more that God convicting me of that! Back in the saddle again tonight though and what a wonderful lesson!

Started taking Beth Moore's "A Beautiful Mind" and the main point I got of tonight was

ARE YOU PROJECTING AN OLD FEAR ON A NEW DAY

Whoa Nelly! She acts like she knows me or something! lol But seriously, what she was talking about is how we get burned one or two times in a situation and then we expect that same result or reaction every time, so we never do get anything different out of life and experiences. How many times do we fail at something or have someone disapprove of something and instead of continuing to try we just tuck tail and run! She talked about FEAR.

1. Fear of the Past, that because of what has happened or hurt us in the past, that we cheat our self out of the future because we won't try again. That we don't give others a chance to change and react to us differently. If we are in God's will, it is our responsibility to continue to try time and time again.

2. Fear of Saying Yes, we are so afraid of not being the "best" at something from the very start, that we won't try something because of our PRIDE and INSECURITIES and not wanting to look bad or foolish or fail in front of someone else.

3. Fear of Saying No, being able to learn the difference in when it's time to say yes and when it's time to say no. We CANNOT do a 1000 things at once to glorify God! Pick and choose.

The last thing that I thought was powerful tonight is that she said that women claim responsibility and investment in WAY more that they are actually responsible and have an investment in. I interpreted that into times that I get all upset and bothered about something that I truly don't "HAVE A DOG IN THAT RACE" with! I think it is a women's nature to take things personal, but many things that I let get me upset doesn't even have a whole lot to do with me. lol :D

I just thought it was an "awesome" night and truly gave me alot to think about in my life! We claim each day as a blessing from God, do we waste it by not stepping out in faith because of what has happened in the past? The enemy, which can come in the form of many things (people, food, situations etc.) tries to get you to quit, by reminding you of your past failures and things that happened before.

What a wonderful message I would have missed tonight, confirmation that God wanted me in fellowship with him tonight! Thank you Lord for pursuing me when many times I seem to be running from you! Hope all have a "blessed" rest of the week and weekend!

Give As Freely As You Have Recieved!

"Give as freely as you have recieved!" Matthew 10:8

Well, have you ever had one of those moments where you were trying to teach someone else something and the Good Lord decided that the lesson is for you! Woo Wee! Tonight was one of those nights. As Pat and I sat at the bar and was doing a nightly devotional with the kids, it was obvious that the lesson was for me much more than the kids. The devotion tonight basically asked if you felt like some people were ugly to you for no apparent reason, do you feel like you can't do anything right, do you feel like people are just against you at times? In a nutshell, do you carry a chip on your shoulder at times. Oh mercy, I knew I was in for it then. The devotion then went on to read, what have you done for others to expect something good in return? Hmmm! It went on to say that alot of times all we can focus on is how others don't make us happy, make us feel good, or do things that we agree with or benefit from. It basically said that we should try not focusing on these things and simply put, get out there and start doing good things ourselves for no reason and it is His promise that we will in turn receive. I think I've heard this before, I think it means, IT'S NOT ABOUT ME! lol What a good message for the beginning of a new school and church year! I think for me he wants me to react in a positive way, when people expect me to get mad. That he wants me to close my eyes to all the negative things that I tend to focus on with people and situations and notice the positive. And if I'm really honest, I would want people to focus on my positive and not on my srew-ups. (Goodness knows I have plenty! lol) He has opened my eyes tonight to the fact that I shouldn't expect from others anything more than I am willing to give them!! That phrase in itself is sooo powerful! Well, I'm definitely not perfect and by all means a work in progress, but via the Big Man, I am going to try to concentrate alot more on giving and not focusing quite so much on receiving. Gonna try and be a little better Christian, Momma, Wife, Daughter and Friend! Again, hmmmm!

Gotta love trying to teach your children a new lesson! lol, lol, lol, lol :D

The End is Here...

Well, it is here! It is officially the end of my summer vacation.

It doesn't even seem like summer any more. Well the heat has definitely let us know it is summer, but I have memories of June and July lasting for eternity. I think it is simply a sign of getting older. Those lengthy months have turned into wild and crazy weeks of nonstop doctors checkups and running, running, running! lol :D

I have also spent the summer washing clothes. It is as if it has been one nonstop load that never quite gets done.....

Oh well, once again, just some more of the facts of life.

You see, even on a day that has elements in it you could have lived without such as the mess and being sick, if you look closely you can see that the blessings far outweighed the wrinkles!!

It is truly a day to rejoice!

I got to attend a baby dedication service this morning where seven sets of parents stood before the church promising to raise their children in a way that was pleasing to God. This just warms your heart that these parents acknowledged that our children are simply "on loaner" from our Heavenly Father and we can't be successful without him holding the reigns. It is also a reminder of days that weren't so long ago, where I stood before the congregation and promised to do the same. Sitting back, it gives me a minute to reflect on how well I am doing keeping the promise that I made myself with my babies. I then got to listen to my baby girl sing special music. Another gift that God has blessed me with to remind me just how much he loves us. And then as I got home and was dismayed at not feeling well and the mess that sat before, I checked Facebook and read that FBC has another "Godfilled" Sunday morning and night! and that God was setting fires in the hearts of his people! We had a wonderful Sunday morning last Sunday that was filled with baptisms, people walking the aisle and families joining. Today we have reports of youth and children being baptized and tonight of our youth reporting on their trip to Missionfuge. I hate I wasn't there, but it just makes you want to jump up and scream and rejoice!! God is truly good! It is such a wonderful feeling to see him at work and igniting fires in the heart of his people, ESPECIALLY in our youth! I am like Jill, I just hope that we can stand behind them and keep them on fire and what better way for us to do this than by keeping our fire burning and leading by example. Well, I can't think of a better way to end a summer than with the blessings that God has given me today. Thank you Lord for opening my eyes to the blessings that this day has brought and not getting caught up in the little things that don't matter.

A Prayer for "Little Man"

This week has been a very hard week for me as a Momma. Most people would celebrate at the fact that both of their kids had gone to youth camp for a week and they had a little time to get things done. It has resulted in alot of anxiety for me though. My Baleigh Bug is a complete people person. She loves to meet new people, go to new places and do new things! Camp and traveling are completely up her ally. She has been gone a week and I have only talked to her one time. My "Little Man" is a completely different story. Those that know him know that my Thomas Patrick has severe ADHD and he also has alot of anxiety as well about certain situations. To meet him you would never think it, but he is extremely insecure. He has been an old sole in a small body since the day he was born. He is perfectly comfortable among grown men, doing things such as hunting and working. Many people say we have made him that way, but truly he has always been that way on his own. He is responsible and trustworthy with things that many men can't or won't do. I have seen him cut his hand wide open and simply try and put a bandaid on it and it would need stitches, but a child can bump him or get rough with him at school and he will completely lose it. My "Little Man" has alot of anxiety being around children his own age for some reason. This results in him not playing most sports, though he will beg us to go to games or sit on the sidelines and play. I know in his heart he truly wants too, but he just can't bring himself to. He does not like being around alot of kids, especially children that he doesn't know. Since he has been a little boy, he hasn't even let me invite many more than 3 or 4 to his birthday parties and even then I would catch him playing by himself. So you can imagine the anxiety I had as a mom sending him to camp. He really didn't want to go, but I encouraged him to go, trying to encourage him to try new things. Well he has been a trooper, but it hasn't come easily to him. I got a call Wednesday morning with him having a complete meltdown. He wanted me to come get him NOW all because he didn't want to go into breakout groups with children he didn't know. Then he got separated from his group with Baleigh in a rain storm, which was not a good thing for him. And then there is tonight, I just got off of the phone with him at 12:00 having a complete meltdown once again. He had been roughhousing with the boys and the chaperon, as boys will do. Well tonight they were chunking things at each other and he was hit with a "ketchup pack" of all things a little hard and completely lost it. He cried for I know a solid hour wanting me to come and get him. I knew that this was a result of being completely tired and probably a little bit of getting his feelings hurt, but he was truly convinced that someone had set out to intentionally hurt him, which was the farthest from the truth!!

Tomorrow I will have both of my chicks back in the nest, but it doesn't stop a Momma from worrying about my baby's ability to handle situations in the future, especially as he grows up and finishes school. I guess a mother's praying is NEVER done!, but my heart is burdened tonight for my Little Man! Lord I pray that you give Thomas peace tonight so that he can rest, I pray that you give him strength to handle situations as they arise, I pray that you reveal to him that he is completely surrounded by people who love him and that he is your child Lord and divinely made just the way You wanted him to be! Lord thank you also for the patience and compassion that Angela, Christy and Adam have shown my Little Man throughout this week!

They are truly blessings!

Scattered isn't the Word!

Well those that know and love me will tell you that sometimes I am just a little impulsive and scattered brained!
The last couple of days have been one of those times. I have fixated on trading my Bug in and even went so far as to drive home a 4 door Corolla today.
Just what I need, another silver boring vehicle that is practical.
Don't even ask me what started this escapade, but needless to day I found myself driving the "trial" car home thinking the whole way, I have truly lost my mind. When I drove off and left my Bug it was like I was leaving my child! lol :D
How in the world do I get myself into stuff like this? Sure wish I would have called my friend to talk me out of it before I went instead of talking sense into me after I had wasted all of my darn time!
Jill reminded me that I didn't get my Bug to be practical, that I got it because I had always wanted one. I have it decorated with my daisies and even got a cutie tag! It wasn't bought for the comfort of others, but for the happiness it brings to me every time I look at it and drive it.
Thanks Jill! How well you know me. :D
After I had a good afternoon of the cry babies I thought about what I had learned from this whole stupid adventure, because I think everything happens for a reason. I think the human side of us is always searching for something that we think will make us be happier. Whether it be a practical silver 4 door vehicle, a different house, new clothes, some a new spouse (not me!), whatever it may be, without realizing it we talk ourselves into being unhappy at times and start searching for that happiness. Fact is I have everything that makes me happy. I have a wonderful husband and two beautiful children, I have friends that I cherish dearly, a good job and wonderful boss, and yes a daisy decorated "Bug"!
Momma, being my momma who knows me well, said, "Beth I knew you would never be happy getting rid of your Bug, but you had to find out for yourself.".
She's right, but I sure am glad I didn't sign a dotted line before I learned my lesson. :D

Rocking at the Dock

Well we have started our VBS this week every night from 5:30- 9:00. We are only 2 nights into it and, as if I should have ever doubted it, God has already showed up and showed out!

It is completely amazing to me how we are there to minister to and spread the gospel to children and us adults walk away with the bulk of the life lessons.

Well the first night we were learning that God is with us. Why do we as adults forget that we are never alone. As I sat there and assured the children that they are never alone, I think about the times where I feel alone and like I don't have anybody. I know better and through this lesson God gave me assurance once again that he is always with me. Another thing that we discussed is how when Moses saw the burning bush that he argued with God and didn't want to and didn't think he could do what God was asking of him. Once again how many times do we find our self arguing with God about something that he is asking us to do. Sometimes that may be loving someone when they aren't so lovable, sometime that may be forgiving when we don't think we should or sometimes that may be when we are going to trials in life that we just don't think we we can make it through. God is with us, Fear Not!

Well tonight was teaching us that God is Powerful! We talked about the plagues coming over the land when the pharaoh wouldn't free God's people. You know what, the same God that is powerful enough to send plagues across the lands all those years ago, is the same God that is powerful enough to tackle life's problems with us and to give us the strength to do what we need to do in life.

It has been a wonderful week so far, tiring, but rewarding! I have seen the light of Christ in the eyes of small children, I have seen adults rekindle broken relationships, I have seen youth being the hands and feet of God, simply put we have experienced God! Come join us!

A Vision of Beauty

Well I did it! I took Baleigh to TG McCary and had her 11 yr old portrait done. I did one at 3, now at 11 and her next one will be (gasp!) her senior portrait!

Those that know me know that I love to take pictures of my own babies as well as for others, but this man is truly a master at his craft.

The last visit consisted of bows, a beautiful organdy dress and a chicken nugget happy meal. This visit consisted of a sundress, a straightening iron, an ever so slight ting of makeup and a trip to the Mexican restaurant.

Simply stated, my sweet baby girl is growing up whether I like it or not.

I watched her as she posed for her pictures and she was truly a vision of beauty to my eyes. Her gorgeous thick blonde hair that I would kill to have, her eyes that light completely up when she laughs and the way I can see the wonderful man I am married to in her face. I don't know what I did to deserve God to allow me to be her mom, but she is growing up to be a wonderful young lady. Don't get me wrong, she is like any other child going through her hormonal moments etc. etc., but she has a kind and giving heart, she has morals that don't seem to waiver easily, she is well grounded in her faith, she has an infectious laugh and she is my sweet baby!

God has blessed me tremendously through the gift of my children!

Paper Bag Blessings!!

http://bethsbigjourney.blogspot.com

Bail Out!

Okay, I'm hoping this is just a bad week, but I'm not sure how much longer of this liquid diet I am gonna be able to take.

I have been on it one month and have lost around 20lbs, but it is becoming soooo hard! They said that it would become easier, but truly for me it has seemed harder to do as I have went.

I have NOT been short of encouragement by far and am soooo thankful for those encouraging me, but it is truly one of the hardest things that I have ever in my life done.

We just aren't engineered to drink everything we eat. Everytime I drink a meal I say to myself, you have 4 weeks down and 8 more to go, but my mind isn't convinced. I am sooo encouraged by a friend who has lost 100 + lbs in 5 months, but I just don't think I'm gonna be able to make it that far.

I don't know if I am having an off day or what, but feeling a little defeated right now. Scared I couldn't lose the weight any other way.

Just rambling tonight, but really torn as to my decisions. Thanks for listening!

One Sick Daddy!

There's alot of things I can handle, but I can't handle Pat being as sick as he has been these last few days!

Pat came in on from Mrs. Karen's funeral last Sunday and said, "I feel awful. My head is hurting so bad I can't stand it and my neck is stiff and my arms are really hurting." I thought that this didn't sound really good. Well, throughout the course of the week he got 4 antibiotic shots and saw his daddy or Karen daily. Every day instead of getting better he continued to get worse. Every day I continued to get more and more worried. Finally Friday he got to where he couldn't even swallow soup and I called his daddy and said that something had to give. I couldn't stand him like this any longer.

We went to Dr. Mooney and he said that Pat had strep and it had gotten in his lymph nodes bad, throat and had gotten in his body and caused him to become septic.

Sooooo, long story short we spent Friday through Saturday in the hospital getting lots of IV antibiotics. Slowly but surely he has gotten better and we got to come home. He has 10 more days on two different antibiotics and then hopefully we will be through and well.

You never know in life what awaits you around the corner. We are thankful for all of our friends checking on us and praying for us throughout this little trial. We are blessed richly with friendships!

Girls Just Wanna Have Fun....

I am a complete 80's girl, I grew up in the land of fluorescent shirts and plastic jewelry, parachute pants, barrettes with little ribbon braided on them and watching Friday Night Videos hoping to get a glimpse of Cyndi Lauper, Madonna or the new Thriller video.

Well I have a daughter who is a girl after my own heart, she is all 80's at heart.

She has been saving her money lately and even working to make more to make a trip to Rue 21. I had put it off for a couple of days, but today was the day.

That place is a complete explosion and tribute to the 80's. It was mass chaos, but I had so much fun watching her go around mixing and matching clothes, trying them on and asking my opinion about outfits. Every so often she would say, "Momma, I am having so much fun." My baby girl is her own little person and with her own creative style. Others may not always understand it, but she seems to be comfortable in her own skin and I am grateful for it.

All in all, it was just a good trip shopping with my baby girl! I know all to well that it won't be very long before I won't be quite as cool as I am now, my opinion on clothes definitely won't be as coveted and I will be missing these little times that God has allowed me to have.

Thank you Lord for these little moments with my children and help me never to take them for granted or let one by without seizing it. :D

Additional Blog

Hey guys, started an additional blog just to vent about this new weight loss journey, it is
http://bethsbigjourney.blogspot.com
Hope this keeps me from boring my friends with all the goofy details that I am sure I will want to vent about.
Hope it last more than a week! :D

A New Chapter.....

It's been a while since I posted and what a depressing post my last one was! lol

I have been thinking alot lately about life in general. Sitting back realizing the blessings that surround me and the journey that I have traveled throughout my life.

I have had alot of trials in my life that I absolutely don't regret because they have shaped me into who I am. I have spent a large part of my adult life trying to keep everyone happy around me, many times at my own expense because of fear of losing people and having people be upset with me.

Well lately I have been thinking more about how fully I am living my life and realizing more and more daily that I only have one life and that I simply am not getting any younger, nor am I guaranteed tomorrow.

I want to write a new chapter in my life. I want to enjoy what God has blessed me with without reservations. I have a wonderful husband, two beautiful babies and an abundance of friends. I am tired of saying not now, maybe later, I wish I had..... and so on. I am realizing it is okay to say No and if I want to do something that is just for me at times, it is okay also and I don't have to have permission or approval from the world.

People who truly love me, are gonna love me, unconditionally!

In all of this thinking I have decided to try a weight reduction program that is medically monitored. It is drastic, it is strict, but I am simply to that point! I have been so excited at how supportive my friends have been. It is another weight loss endeavor, but at this point, I can't NOT try. I am going to start praying now and I ask that you do as well for my discipline and for God to change my heart about my health and how I view food. I owe this to myself and my family. I start on July 17th, so start praying now! I am sure that I will need it.

I am beginning to realize that one of the ways that I can make my husband, children, family and friends happier, is not always by what I can do for them, but simply by being happy with myself.

I know this has been alot of random blubbering, but after all, I started blogging as a way to get my thoughts out, not to prove how beautifully I can write. Anyway, anyone who knows me knows I talk randomly "or chase rabbits" all the time. That's what makes me, me!

I encourage you as well to think about how you are living the life that God has given you. Are you living it to it's fullest, or you procrastinating it away, are you living for the happiness of others and never finding yourself happy in the process. Just thoughts to ponder....

Who's That Looking Back at Me?

Well I'm having one of those nights ladies and many of you have had them.

Do you ever just feel that you have lost yourself somewhere along the way? That you are going through the motions of life, but not living it to the fullest?

I just got back from Relay for Life tonight and I have come home with this burdened on my mind. As I carried on through the night I found myself among people, survivors who have fought for their lives and it made me think, "Why aren't you living yours? Are you living your best life?" Looking at myself it seems as if I have become someone that I don't even recognize at times. I am battling my weight, well I wouldn't call it a battle, I am actually nurturing my weight. My legs and feet can't hold me up for long periods of time, "Yes, I have a condition, but there are ways I could better help myself!" I could barely make it 7 laps and I watch senior adults walking too many laps to even count. Those that know me know that I love music and love to dance, my heart dances inside, but my body is too ashamed to let anyone see it on the outside. I had to leave because I simply couldn't stand anymore because my legs had become so swollen and red. I am 36 years old and this just ain't a' gettin it! I spend my time trying to make others smile and laugh, but I don't think I smile and laugh like I used to. I don't know, maybe I am rambling, but I just feel like I have let myself go in many ways and aren't recognizing the woman I have become at times. I know that I have a Father that loves me regardless and ladies I am not talking about my earthly father, but my Heavenly Father, but I also know that he wants me to live the best life that I can and to be as happy as I can. I have said this sooooo many times to others, "The only one who can truly make you happy is yourself. If you wait for others to do it, it will never happen.", hum, seems like good advice, maybe I should take it!

What's my plan, not sure yet, not some crazy unrealistic goal or anything, but I know just who I can take it too and we are gonna get this thing worked out together. God, can you hear me, we need to talk........

Polka Dotted Blessings....

To many women, this may look like one of the "tackiest" pieces of luggage for any grown woman to have, but to me this is a true piece of beauty. You see, this was my Mother's Day present from my baby boy.

I recently went to Savages Drug Store to get a gift for a friends birthday, while I was there my baby boy Thomas was checking everything out. He would come up to me and say, "Momma, what do you think about this?" and I would comment, but go on about my business. He continued with his critical looking and I simply went right on about my business. He told me that he needed to call his daddy and I needed to drop him off by the Vet clinic. I knew what he was up to, but told him that we didn't have time to go to the clinic and we weren't going to bother his daddy right now, that they would shop later. I must admit he seemed a little heart broke at the pace of our day and the fact that I couldn't accomodate him and was really upset at the fact that this particular store would be closed and he wouldn't be able to come back. Well I went ahead and checked out and went to the car, no Thomas. Exasperated I told Baleigh, "Go in and tell Thomas Patrick to come on. We are in a hurry." She did and he come out and made a statement to the effect that he didn't realize we left. I asked him was he mad at me and he said that he wasn't. Well last night he simply couldn't hold it anymore. He told me to go in the bedroom and come out when he told me to. I came out and there was a heap in the floor and he said, "Sit down momma, I have a big surprise for you." So I did and he ripped away the afghan covering the heap and there it was, the lime green suitcase with bright orange polka dots and there he was with the biggest smile of pride a little fella could have. I said, "Thomas, how did you get this." and he said, "Momma, I knew I wouldn't be able to make it back before the store closed, so I hid until you walked out of the store and then I gave the suitcase to the lady to put behind the counter for me." My little man!! What 9 year old has the forethought to ask a store clerk to put away that "perfect" gift for his momma! and what a beautiful gift it was!

In the picture with my new suitcase is my new purse that my baby girl got me. Once again, I saw it and had fallen in love with it and wouldn't get it for myself. You guessed it. she managed to get her daddy back there and got that too. It truly meant the world that my babies went to such great lengths to make my Mother's Day perfect and it was just that! Perfect!

We had a great Mothers Day! We went to church together, went to eat with my Momma and kids, and then Pat, the kids, me and my Momma went to the movies, got icecream and then back home. What a beautiful day!

Count Your Blessings Name them One by One...

As I wake up this morning and begin to count my blessings, I now have two more to add to them. Isn't it wonderful how God continues to bless us even when we don't deserve it. Last night my mom married a wonderful man named David Derrick. He is good to my mom and he loves my kids and husband dearly. David also has a son named Chris, so both of us are no longer technically only children. Somehow that is just nice, even though we haven't had time to establish a relationship. My mom has been through some trials with relationships and I have never understood why it has always not worked out, now I know why! He was saving the best for last. May I introduce you to Mr. and Mrs. David Derrick

Don't ya' just love that wonderful look Thomas has on his face. He wanted to give his Mawmaw away, so brother Webb had to throw that line in there. He then told David, "I'm not really giving her to you. She is still MY Mawmaw".
Here is me and mom and David and his son Chris.

Me and my momma. I love you mom and wish you all of the happiness that you truly deserve.

David and his son Chris.

Two hands joined together, praying that nothing will seperate them apart.

Joy in Pictures...

Those that know me know that I have a love for photography. I love the happiness it brings people to see their loved ones captured in pictures. It's something that I enjoy doing that seems to bring a little joy to others.

Here are some pictures that I took of my Aunt Linda's grandbabies about a week ago at the creek. I was burning her a disc tonight and couldn't help but smile at these little faces, so I thought I would share their beautiful smiles with you too! :D

This is baby Ronnie. He is the serious one of the bunch. He was really interested in the rocks and sand.

Isn't this sweet! My Aunt Linda went through great lengths trying to get the 3 of them to sit still. I know, good luck with that.

This is Madelyn. A typical little princess, drama included.


This bright eyed baby is Joey. I could have taken pictures of his sweet face all day long.



Doesn't this picture just make you wonder what he is thinking? I loved it.

Thanks for letting me share! :D

Happy Birthday NaNa.....

Happy Birthday Mrs. Mary Kathryn, most importantly known as NaNa. Yesterday was my mother-in-law's birthday and we all got together last night and ate supper together. It was a good time of family, food and fellowship. We laughed together, Uncle Pat aggravated all of the little ones until they screamed, Syd of course cooked some delicious ribs and Pawpaw had a sparkle in his eye as he sat back and watched it all. It seems like every time we turn around we are hearing of someone becoming critically ill or God has called another one of our loved ones home. Sometimes we just have to slow down and enjoy each other when we can and while we can. It was just a good night for a special lady in our lives. Thank you for all that you do for us and all that you mean to us! Happy Birthday Nana!

Sweet Baby Boy!

Everybody, meet the newest member of our family, James Hollis Smith. For those that know me, this is Lesleye and Jim's newest addition. I got to go over weekend before last and get my hands on him. He is sooooo sweet. He just curled up in a ball and slept so soundly in my lap. Of course he was trying to make a "story teller" out of his mom who he's been keeping up at night. It seems like eternity since my babies were this age. It's always nice to get your hands on a little one again! So sweet! :D

Spring Has Sprung!

Aren't these babies a sight to behold. It was such a pretty day that Pat and I decided to take the babies to the creek to play. I believe the last words were, "We promise, we are just gonna get our feet wet." Yeah right! They had fun though and I am sure that the pneumonia will be ever bit worth it. It was when when I was little.

Let's just say that "daddy" didn't make it long watching the kids play, but I enjoyed watching him sleep peacefully.


The kids spotted these flowers instantly and had to bring me some.
It's really hard to be out in nature and not be in complete awe of God's creations.

I was intriqued at the way this dried up dirt looked. This is all that is left when the water subsides. I couldn't help but think that this is how our lives look without the living water of God within it.

Simply broken, dry and thirsty.

This picture made me think about "Footprints". It made me think about the fact that I am never alone and that he always carries me even when I may not realize it.

All in all it was just a really good day with the family.

Lord, thank you for helping me to slow down and enjoy your beautiful creation today in my family and the world around me.

Modest Truly is Hottest!

Today was alot of fun!

Baleigh Bug was back (thank goodness, I'm lost without her) and she and I slept in and then headed to Brookhaven to do some shopping. Thomas made sure to ditch us quickly, he didn't want to get caught up in any kind of shopping trip that didn't include the Bass Pro shop.

We of course started out at Cracker Barrel for the late breakfast that we love to go eat together.

We then went shopping for Spring time clothes that she so desperately needed.

We found alot at our "old faithful" stop, Cato, including an absolutely beautiful Easter dress. She looked so grown up in it!

I was really tickled, alot of black clothes out though for Easter, oh well, I'm definitely not a "Fashion Diva" guess that's whats in this year!

While looking through all of the clothes and trying on clothes today, I couldn't help but notice that I kept finding myself hearing the same words over and over from Baleigh, "that's too short", "that's too low cut" and "that fits too tight". Truly music to my ears and I know you mom's would agree! It was one of those "God wink" moments that you realized that you might have done a little something right at some point. In a time where many moms are struggling to get their girls to keep their body parts covered, here is my "angel baby" making sure that hers is. I said, "Baleigh Bug, why are you so worried about these things?" and she said, "Remember the shirt that we got from LifeWay that time momma, Modest is Hottest!"

Thank you Lord for a daughter that makes wise choices that glorify you. A daughter that respects herself enough to realize that she doesn't have to have attention at her own expense. Night guys, :D

A Beautiful Day...

Nothing out of the ordinary happened today, other than it was a completely beautiful day!

Days like this are just another way that God shows us just how much he loves us.

Got to sleep late this morning! I love sleeping in! My baby girl came home from a trip that she had been on since Friday and I went and picked her up. I am truly lost without her, she is my sidekick. I realize more and more daily how precious this "sidekick" time is. It won't be long that I will find myself alone way more than I care too. Baleigh and I then met Pat and Thomas for a quick lunch then we headed out to Brookhaven. Jill had called and said they were at the park having a picnic and playtime and we dropped by there and had fun just sitting and talking while watching the kids. It was a perfect park day! Went on to an eye appointment with Baleigh and then off to church. Pat and I were supposed to be teaching our marriage class tonight, Ha! Ha! Marriage is a whole lot of learning and not much teaching, but we really had fun discussing "Anger" tonight. It's just good to get together and share.

Just another ordinary day, but what a "beautiful day" it was!

Lord thank you for days like this, nothing out of the ordinary, but extraordinary! :D Beth

Baby Steps....

Once again I have stepped on the scale and see a number that tells me that I am as heavy as I have ever been. Why is it soooo hard? Why is it that I truly "long" for food? It's sad to fight a battle within yourself daily and lose! I wake up thinking about breakfast. When I travel I am instantly planning the best place to eat in the area. Just plain sad! As I do this new marriage study, I realize just how much I let my self esteem cause troubles in my life and I simply find myself mad alot for no apparent reason. I am 36 years old and I am already very aware of how much of my life I have allowed to pass me by simply "not feeling good"! I ache, hurt and am lethargic most of the time. I try and find reasons for all of these aches and pains and simply put, my body is just "sick and tired" of hauling around all of this weight. Is it really worth it? Immediately it seems so when I want to eat, in the long run, definately not!

So once again I am going to try and take "baby steps" at being healthier, with the hope that this time I may learn to walk. It's bad, this summer I've been invited on a short trip to the beach with friends and we are planning a trip to Disney next November and one of the things that keeps entering my mind is, I will give out trying to walk on the sand, what in tarnation will I wear and I am going to be bigger than everyone else! Once again, sad!

Today I am going to try to give up my sodas and commit to doing some type of exercise 3 times a week. I just have to get it through my thick head that there will never "BE" time, I have to "MAKE" time! Oh well, wish me luck! I assure you I will need it! This is just one of many failed attempts, maybe this could be the one something actually changes. Who knows, but I have to try! Thanks for listening to my daily ramblings! Beth :)

I Need More than Hamburger to Be My Helper :)

Does anyone else out there dislike cooking during the week as much as I have come to? It seems like the older I get the less I want to cook. I am not one of those ladies who are "cookingly" challenged, just motivationally challenged I guess! lol

I truly could eat cereal every night of the week.

My babies are getting to the age where they just don't eat much at a meal and it is so disheartening to spend all that time on a meal and then it takes 5 minutes to eat it.

Oh well, guess we go through seasons in our life and I am in the "don't wanna cook" season!

This too shall pass, or at least Pat hopes so! Ha! Ha! :)

I know, this was a crazy blog, just one of the many "random" thoughts that enters my mind on a daily basis.

Those who know me well know that I have many "random" thoughts, but they love me for it anyway! lol

Have a "wonderful" weekend!

Marriage 101

Had a "wonderful" night in our couples Bible study, "Making Love Last Forever". It is always fun to sit around with other couples and share. You suddenly realize, "Hey! We're normal." It was so neat that the study had one of my "mostest favoritest" quotes.

I can not control what happens around me, but I can control how I react.

(Not that I always choose to react the right way! lol :)

The study talked alot about how we have to choose to be happy, regardless of our surroundings and circumstances and stop blaming every problem we have on everything and everyone around us.

Ouch my toe Lord, but I hear you loud and clear!

Just a fun night of sharing, laughing and learning in the house of God!

Lord thank you for the marriage and husband that you have blessed me so abundantly with. Thank you for the problems that we have and for our ability to work through them with your help. Thank you for revealing to me daily that everyone has struggles, you always manage to keep me grounded. Night, night! Beth :-)

The To Do List....

Well here we are the week before Spring Break. It has been wild and wooly lately in the world of teaching and Spring Fever has sprung! A full moon too. Before we know it summer time will be upon us. I don't know if time is truly flying or if I am just getting older. No comments welcomed on that one. Ha! Ha! I, as usual, had started writing my Spring Break to do list down on a notebook when these wonderful chores would come to mind. I had taken this notebook to computer lab with me this morning jotting down lesson plans and one of my babies was toting it back for me and "haphazardly" I am sure, read it. By the time we got back to the classroom the children have obviously shared the information and was giggling. One finally mustered up the courage and said, "Mrs. Larkin, do you really think you are going to be able to do all of that stuff." Good question I thought. Unfortunately the other sign of my age is that it contained a full weeks worth of fun things like sweeping the porch, painting the outside doors and organizing the office. Yuck! What I really wanted to be doing is running off to sun and solitude for a couple of days with Jill, Christy and our girls. Oh well, maybe next year. That's the only way we can get away together, our other vacations are planned around each other because she is the only one that can keep that clinic running when we aren't there. You da bomb friend!

Jill if your out there, we need to claim a long weekend once a year for a short getaway!!

We'll call it therapy or something! Ha! Ha!

Well I have once again cheated myself out of having to cook supper, so let me go make myself useful at something else! :-) Have a good night everyone!

To Regret or Not to Regret....

It's 1:30 in the morning and I have complete insomnia despite Tylenol PM and suspected flu! Have you ever had one of those nights where your body so desperately wants to rest, but your mind simply refuses to quit turning? (Of course you have, your women.) I started a new couples bible study this past week at church and was working through my lessons earlier tonight and it discussed acknowledging past choices that you have made that affect your marriage negatively now. I thought about this and most of my really "ugly skeletons" have long since been laid at the feet of my Heavenly Father and are covered, therefore do not hinder my marriage. The one bad choice that "I chose" and continued to choose that negatively affects my marriage is the choice to live unhealthy, which results in poor self image, which results in unhappiness at times and just an overall feeling of discontentment. I say "I choose" to live unhealthy because my study emphasizes on owning your choices and not blaming them on anything or anyone. This made me really sit back and think about my life. I just had this conversation with my best friend. We were discussing the fact that the only person that controls our happiness is ourselves! That's powerful. This made me start thinking about regrets that we have and why we don't choose to live our lives, but simply live in our lives! For instance, I was invited to go to the coast in June for four days this summer with some friends. I have saved for this trip since August and every part of my body is trying to talk myself out of it. Why? One of these friends has battled cancer, we are simply not guaranteed these opportunities again once they pass, and still I try and talk myself out of it. I almost talked myself out of a trip to New York once with my best friend Jill, I gave myself every reason why I shouldn't go, but did. I thank God everyday for giving us that experience not only together, but together with our girls! Memories that will never go away! I know I'm rambling, but I truly think the devil tells us moms, wives and daughters that we aren't worth the time, therefore we end up with regrets, whether it be another year and 20 more lbs, a missed trip with friends, a splurge on a pedicure, a bad make-over from your daughter or a hunting trip with your son (itchy and hot as it may be). And then if that isn't bad enough, I tend to blame others and circumstances as to why I didn't "Seize the Moment" and am left with regrets! We simply don't think we are worth taking the time and that there we will always be a "next time" and the fact is there may not be.

If we would only live each day as if it were our last. Hmmm!

Night guys! Thanks for listening! :) Beth

Tag! I'm it! :-)

How fun! Leon has tagged me and it is a really cool tag. I was supposed to look in my 4th file and pick my 4th picture and tell about it so here goes.

Aren't they sweet! This is a picture of my beautiful baby girl and the man that I am still madly in love with after 20 yrs. What I think about most when I see this picture is how lucky I am that God has sent me Pat to be the father of my babies. I didn't have a father in my life growing up and relied completely on my Heavenly Father in those deep dark times when I would have loved to have had a nice, safe lap to climb into. My children will not know this feeling as long as those big ole' size 13's walk this Earth. Instead he is a daddy who is always there and present in their lives, always having time for them. I am lucky because my children will not come to know their Heavenly Father because they have nothing else, but will come to know their Heavenly Father through the guidance of their earthly father. Thank you Lord for "Godly" husbands! Thank you for Pat!

Renegade Mini Van Momma!

I almost forgot to tell everyone about my exciting adventure before the date with the hubby!

I was coming in front of our vet clinic on Friday and suddenly a State Trooper pulls out behind me, the "Mini Van Bandit" with lights blazing! I look in the rear view mirror and notice that not only is he following, but a Sheriff's car had pulled in behind him in pursuit of me as well. I pulled over and the trooper comes to the window and says, "Maam, I need to see your license.", I handed him my license, hoping he wouldn't arrest me for impersonating a skinnier woman and he looked at them and said, "Are you from around here?". I almost got tickled and simply said, "Yes Sir", while pointing to the vet clinic. He then said, "Is this your vehicle?", I really got tickled then and the devil in me was thinking, "Naw! I just stole it, it was too fine to resist!", but I minded my manners and laid claim to the fine grey specimen of a vehicle in which I sat. He then went on to ask me if I was aware that my tag was expired. I showed him my new tag and explained that my dear sweet husband had not found time to do it since I bought it last may. (By the way, I have tried, but a screw is stripped out.) He made me promise that I would go straight home and take care of this and I promised and crossed my heart! As he went to walk off, much to my dismay he noticed my inspections sticker which had expired last May with my tag. And for this, I was awarded a little yellow driving award!

Oh well, life goes on! I have to wonder though, what they both were thinking to think that I required two of our finest to pursue me. "Hey dude, here comes a mini van with an expired tag! The middle aged lady that is driving looks tired, like she may have worked all day, just got through fussing with her kids, spilled a coke in the console, just realized she forgot to get her hormones filled and knows that we have noticed her tag is expired. Dude, I'm gonna need back up!" Ha! Ha! Have a good night!

High Speed Internet, I have arrived!

I am so excited! I have finally arrived, I now have high speed internet!
I know, it doesn't take much to excite me! When you come from the land of dial-up, it is a big jump!

It's been a good weekend! Pat took me to see the new movie "Taken" on Friday night and it was absolutely AWESOME! Sat on the edge of my seat until the very last second.
It's kinda weird that Pat and I get to do things like that more and more. Our babies are getting older and having agendas of their own and sometimes to our amazement we find ourselves alone.
Just a creeping reminder that our babies are growing up on us! How fast that happens.

A great start to a laid back weekend!

"remarkably and wonderfully made", but tired!

As I looked at my devotional today, one of the reference verses was

Psalm 139:14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;

your works are wonderful,

I know that full well.

Please bear with me, I just have to vent. I am a Christian and I have much faith, but as the title states, I am simply getting tired. On one side, I am so grateful for my problems, because they are mine and so small compared to others, but it doesn't help going through them nonetheless sometimes.

My health just stinks in soooo many ways. Those who know me, know that I am a disaster in many ways in the health sense. I think that I take it all in stride and I try not to let it get me down. I try not to completely unload on my friends all of the time, because everyone has problems. I get up "put on my big girl panties" and go on, because "by golly" God allowed me to have another day and I thank him. Lately though I just can't seem to put it on the back burner. For some reason I seem to have this high rate of inflammation going on in my body that will not go away. We have taken my levels several times and they just won't go down. I am beginning to get knots on the joints in my hands and there are days that I cringe at opening up a coke top or wringing out a rag. This joint pain has gotten really bad in my hands and my eversotroublesome feet and legs. I am being sent to a rheumatologist to rule out something like Lupus or Rheumatoid Arthritis. I guess this seems minor to many, but I would have to list all of my other malfunctions to put it in perspective. He definately hasn't said it, but I know it gets tiresome for Pat as well. It's not easy having a spouse I am sure who never feels good at night. My baby boy even had to pump my gas yesterday because I couldn't turn the gas cap. And to top it all off I went for more levels today and was told that I could be diagnosed with Diabetes with the sugar level that registered and I now have to go back for that.

I say all of this friends, to simply ask you to pray for me to be more tolerant of this body that God has given me and to know that nothing is in vain. I do not ask for you to pray that I don't have the above conditions, but that the doctors find out what is going on so that I can move on with whatever course of action that I need to and get on with life and be the best momma, wife and friend that I can be. Thanks for listening! Have a "blessed" week, don't take the small things too seriously, laugh alot (it is truly good medicine) and love more! Beth