Who's That Looking Back at Me?

Well I'm having one of those nights ladies and many of you have had them.

Do you ever just feel that you have lost yourself somewhere along the way? That you are going through the motions of life, but not living it to the fullest?

I just got back from Relay for Life tonight and I have come home with this burdened on my mind. As I carried on through the night I found myself among people, survivors who have fought for their lives and it made me think, "Why aren't you living yours? Are you living your best life?" Looking at myself it seems as if I have become someone that I don't even recognize at times. I am battling my weight, well I wouldn't call it a battle, I am actually nurturing my weight. My legs and feet can't hold me up for long periods of time, "Yes, I have a condition, but there are ways I could better help myself!" I could barely make it 7 laps and I watch senior adults walking too many laps to even count. Those that know me know that I love music and love to dance, my heart dances inside, but my body is too ashamed to let anyone see it on the outside. I had to leave because I simply couldn't stand anymore because my legs had become so swollen and red. I am 36 years old and this just ain't a' gettin it! I spend my time trying to make others smile and laugh, but I don't think I smile and laugh like I used to. I don't know, maybe I am rambling, but I just feel like I have let myself go in many ways and aren't recognizing the woman I have become at times. I know that I have a Father that loves me regardless and ladies I am not talking about my earthly father, but my Heavenly Father, but I also know that he wants me to live the best life that I can and to be as happy as I can. I have said this sooooo many times to others, "The only one who can truly make you happy is yourself. If you wait for others to do it, it will never happen.", hum, seems like good advice, maybe I should take it!

What's my plan, not sure yet, not some crazy unrealistic goal or anything, but I know just who I can take it too and we are gonna get this thing worked out together. God, can you hear me, we need to talk........

Polka Dotted Blessings....

To many women, this may look like one of the "tackiest" pieces of luggage for any grown woman to have, but to me this is a true piece of beauty. You see, this was my Mother's Day present from my baby boy.

I recently went to Savages Drug Store to get a gift for a friends birthday, while I was there my baby boy Thomas was checking everything out. He would come up to me and say, "Momma, what do you think about this?" and I would comment, but go on about my business. He continued with his critical looking and I simply went right on about my business. He told me that he needed to call his daddy and I needed to drop him off by the Vet clinic. I knew what he was up to, but told him that we didn't have time to go to the clinic and we weren't going to bother his daddy right now, that they would shop later. I must admit he seemed a little heart broke at the pace of our day and the fact that I couldn't accomodate him and was really upset at the fact that this particular store would be closed and he wouldn't be able to come back. Well I went ahead and checked out and went to the car, no Thomas. Exasperated I told Baleigh, "Go in and tell Thomas Patrick to come on. We are in a hurry." She did and he come out and made a statement to the effect that he didn't realize we left. I asked him was he mad at me and he said that he wasn't. Well last night he simply couldn't hold it anymore. He told me to go in the bedroom and come out when he told me to. I came out and there was a heap in the floor and he said, "Sit down momma, I have a big surprise for you." So I did and he ripped away the afghan covering the heap and there it was, the lime green suitcase with bright orange polka dots and there he was with the biggest smile of pride a little fella could have. I said, "Thomas, how did you get this." and he said, "Momma, I knew I wouldn't be able to make it back before the store closed, so I hid until you walked out of the store and then I gave the suitcase to the lady to put behind the counter for me." My little man!! What 9 year old has the forethought to ask a store clerk to put away that "perfect" gift for his momma! and what a beautiful gift it was!

In the picture with my new suitcase is my new purse that my baby girl got me. Once again, I saw it and had fallen in love with it and wouldn't get it for myself. You guessed it. she managed to get her daddy back there and got that too. It truly meant the world that my babies went to such great lengths to make my Mother's Day perfect and it was just that! Perfect!

We had a great Mothers Day! We went to church together, went to eat with my Momma and kids, and then Pat, the kids, me and my Momma went to the movies, got icecream and then back home. What a beautiful day!