A Prayer for "Little Man"

This week has been a very hard week for me as a Momma. Most people would celebrate at the fact that both of their kids had gone to youth camp for a week and they had a little time to get things done. It has resulted in alot of anxiety for me though. My Baleigh Bug is a complete people person. She loves to meet new people, go to new places and do new things! Camp and traveling are completely up her ally. She has been gone a week and I have only talked to her one time. My "Little Man" is a completely different story. Those that know him know that my Thomas Patrick has severe ADHD and he also has alot of anxiety as well about certain situations. To meet him you would never think it, but he is extremely insecure. He has been an old sole in a small body since the day he was born. He is perfectly comfortable among grown men, doing things such as hunting and working. Many people say we have made him that way, but truly he has always been that way on his own. He is responsible and trustworthy with things that many men can't or won't do. I have seen him cut his hand wide open and simply try and put a bandaid on it and it would need stitches, but a child can bump him or get rough with him at school and he will completely lose it. My "Little Man" has alot of anxiety being around children his own age for some reason. This results in him not playing most sports, though he will beg us to go to games or sit on the sidelines and play. I know in his heart he truly wants too, but he just can't bring himself to. He does not like being around alot of kids, especially children that he doesn't know. Since he has been a little boy, he hasn't even let me invite many more than 3 or 4 to his birthday parties and even then I would catch him playing by himself. So you can imagine the anxiety I had as a mom sending him to camp. He really didn't want to go, but I encouraged him to go, trying to encourage him to try new things. Well he has been a trooper, but it hasn't come easily to him. I got a call Wednesday morning with him having a complete meltdown. He wanted me to come get him NOW all because he didn't want to go into breakout groups with children he didn't know. Then he got separated from his group with Baleigh in a rain storm, which was not a good thing for him. And then there is tonight, I just got off of the phone with him at 12:00 having a complete meltdown once again. He had been roughhousing with the boys and the chaperon, as boys will do. Well tonight they were chunking things at each other and he was hit with a "ketchup pack" of all things a little hard and completely lost it. He cried for I know a solid hour wanting me to come and get him. I knew that this was a result of being completely tired and probably a little bit of getting his feelings hurt, but he was truly convinced that someone had set out to intentionally hurt him, which was the farthest from the truth!!

Tomorrow I will have both of my chicks back in the nest, but it doesn't stop a Momma from worrying about my baby's ability to handle situations in the future, especially as he grows up and finishes school. I guess a mother's praying is NEVER done!, but my heart is burdened tonight for my Little Man! Lord I pray that you give Thomas peace tonight so that he can rest, I pray that you give him strength to handle situations as they arise, I pray that you reveal to him that he is completely surrounded by people who love him and that he is your child Lord and divinely made just the way You wanted him to be! Lord thank you also for the patience and compassion that Angela, Christy and Adam have shown my Little Man throughout this week!

They are truly blessings!

Scattered isn't the Word!

Well those that know and love me will tell you that sometimes I am just a little impulsive and scattered brained!
The last couple of days have been one of those times. I have fixated on trading my Bug in and even went so far as to drive home a 4 door Corolla today.
Just what I need, another silver boring vehicle that is practical.
Don't even ask me what started this escapade, but needless to day I found myself driving the "trial" car home thinking the whole way, I have truly lost my mind. When I drove off and left my Bug it was like I was leaving my child! lol :D
How in the world do I get myself into stuff like this? Sure wish I would have called my friend to talk me out of it before I went instead of talking sense into me after I had wasted all of my darn time!
Jill reminded me that I didn't get my Bug to be practical, that I got it because I had always wanted one. I have it decorated with my daisies and even got a cutie tag! It wasn't bought for the comfort of others, but for the happiness it brings to me every time I look at it and drive it.
Thanks Jill! How well you know me. :D
After I had a good afternoon of the cry babies I thought about what I had learned from this whole stupid adventure, because I think everything happens for a reason. I think the human side of us is always searching for something that we think will make us be happier. Whether it be a practical silver 4 door vehicle, a different house, new clothes, some a new spouse (not me!), whatever it may be, without realizing it we talk ourselves into being unhappy at times and start searching for that happiness. Fact is I have everything that makes me happy. I have a wonderful husband and two beautiful children, I have friends that I cherish dearly, a good job and wonderful boss, and yes a daisy decorated "Bug"!
Momma, being my momma who knows me well, said, "Beth I knew you would never be happy getting rid of your Bug, but you had to find out for yourself.".
She's right, but I sure am glad I didn't sign a dotted line before I learned my lesson. :D

Rocking at the Dock

Well we have started our VBS this week every night from 5:30- 9:00. We are only 2 nights into it and, as if I should have ever doubted it, God has already showed up and showed out!

It is completely amazing to me how we are there to minister to and spread the gospel to children and us adults walk away with the bulk of the life lessons.

Well the first night we were learning that God is with us. Why do we as adults forget that we are never alone. As I sat there and assured the children that they are never alone, I think about the times where I feel alone and like I don't have anybody. I know better and through this lesson God gave me assurance once again that he is always with me. Another thing that we discussed is how when Moses saw the burning bush that he argued with God and didn't want to and didn't think he could do what God was asking of him. Once again how many times do we find our self arguing with God about something that he is asking us to do. Sometimes that may be loving someone when they aren't so lovable, sometime that may be forgiving when we don't think we should or sometimes that may be when we are going to trials in life that we just don't think we we can make it through. God is with us, Fear Not!

Well tonight was teaching us that God is Powerful! We talked about the plagues coming over the land when the pharaoh wouldn't free God's people. You know what, the same God that is powerful enough to send plagues across the lands all those years ago, is the same God that is powerful enough to tackle life's problems with us and to give us the strength to do what we need to do in life.

It has been a wonderful week so far, tiring, but rewarding! I have seen the light of Christ in the eyes of small children, I have seen adults rekindle broken relationships, I have seen youth being the hands and feet of God, simply put we have experienced God! Come join us!

A Vision of Beauty

Well I did it! I took Baleigh to TG McCary and had her 11 yr old portrait done. I did one at 3, now at 11 and her next one will be (gasp!) her senior portrait!

Those that know me know that I love to take pictures of my own babies as well as for others, but this man is truly a master at his craft.

The last visit consisted of bows, a beautiful organdy dress and a chicken nugget happy meal. This visit consisted of a sundress, a straightening iron, an ever so slight ting of makeup and a trip to the Mexican restaurant.

Simply stated, my sweet baby girl is growing up whether I like it or not.

I watched her as she posed for her pictures and she was truly a vision of beauty to my eyes. Her gorgeous thick blonde hair that I would kill to have, her eyes that light completely up when she laughs and the way I can see the wonderful man I am married to in her face. I don't know what I did to deserve God to allow me to be her mom, but she is growing up to be a wonderful young lady. Don't get me wrong, she is like any other child going through her hormonal moments etc. etc., but she has a kind and giving heart, she has morals that don't seem to waiver easily, she is well grounded in her faith, she has an infectious laugh and she is my sweet baby!

God has blessed me tremendously through the gift of my children!

Paper Bag Blessings!!

http://bethsbigjourney.blogspot.com

Bail Out!

Okay, I'm hoping this is just a bad week, but I'm not sure how much longer of this liquid diet I am gonna be able to take.

I have been on it one month and have lost around 20lbs, but it is becoming soooo hard! They said that it would become easier, but truly for me it has seemed harder to do as I have went.

I have NOT been short of encouragement by far and am soooo thankful for those encouraging me, but it is truly one of the hardest things that I have ever in my life done.

We just aren't engineered to drink everything we eat. Everytime I drink a meal I say to myself, you have 4 weeks down and 8 more to go, but my mind isn't convinced. I am sooo encouraged by a friend who has lost 100 + lbs in 5 months, but I just don't think I'm gonna be able to make it that far.

I don't know if I am having an off day or what, but feeling a little defeated right now. Scared I couldn't lose the weight any other way.

Just rambling tonight, but really torn as to my decisions. Thanks for listening!